THE MADNESS: NATURE BITES WEEK#1

MOVIES:

1. SEED OF CHUCKY (2004) Chucky and Tiffany's weird girl/boy Glen/Glenda teams up with his parents in search of a family and they impregnate actress Jennifer Tilly. 87 Mins. *.5/5 2 base pts. Total= 2pts.

2. DEEP BLUE SEA 2: The smart sharks are back this time with cute little baby sharks who are hungry. Fun but doesn't hold a candle to its predecessor or sequel. 93 Mins. ***.25/5 ATB 6 pts. Total =6 pts.

3. SHARK NIGHT: A bunch of college kids find themselves in trouble when they are attacked by a variety of sharks in a lake. More plot twists ensue. Fun but forgettable. 90 Mins. ***/5 ATB 6 pts. Total= 6 pts.

4. JAWS 3D: This time around the shark attacks Dennis Quaid and friends at Sea World. Goofy but fun. 99 Mins. ***/5 ATB 6 pts. Total= 6 pts.

5. CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984) Stephen King classic about a group of kids who start worshipping an evil entity in the corn and kill all the town's adults. Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton star as a couple going cross country that ends up in crazy town. A little "corny" no pun intended but fun and disturbing. 92 Mins. ***.5/5 2 base pts. 1 bonus evil plant 1 bonus weather event Total= 4 pts.

6. HUBIE HALLOWEEN (NETFLIX) Adam Sandler stars in this really dumb and goofy but well intentioned horrorish comedy as the town joke who ends up becoming the hero of Halloween in Salem. People begin to disappear and there seems to be a werewolf on the loose. 102 Mins. ***/5 ATB Werewolf 6 pts. Total= 6 pts.

7. THE CAVE: A group of expert climbers/cave divers explore an uncharted cave and discover deadly creatures. It's the less good version of the descent mixed with the relic. 97 Mins. ***.5/5 2 base pts. 1 bonus animal attack 1 bonus attack in large numbers 1 bonus animal/human hybrid Total= 5 pts.

8. EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS: A town comes under attack by giant spiders. Silly, fun and a little creepy with awesome FX. 99 Mins. ****/5 2 base pts. 1 bonus animals attack 1 bonus large numbers 1 bonus radiation  Total= 5 pts.

Subtotal: 40 pts.

TV:

A HAUNTING S3E2 THE ATTIC: I love this shop and the corny reenactments. It's still hella creepy. A young mother moves into a haunted house with her kid and they get terrorized. 44 Mins. ***.5/5 1 base pt. Total= 1 pt.

MONSTERLAND S1E1 Port Fourchon, Louisiana: This is my new favorite show. A young woman meets a shapeshifter that makes her question the choices she's made in her life. 53 Mins. *****/5 1 base pt. 1 pt. Shapeshifter Total= 2 pts.

MONSTERLAND S1E2 Eugene, Oregon: A young man with a sick mother joins a group of fanatics after seeing a strange shadow figure. 51 Mins. ****.5/5 1 base pt.  Total= 1 pt.

MONSTERLAND S1E3 New Orleans, Louisiana: A woman discovers that her husband has been molesting children and a demon makes her face the music. 49 Mins. ****.5/5 1 base pt. Total: 1 pt. 

MONSTERLAND S1E4 New York, New York: The CEO of an energy company experiences a sort of posession from mother earth after committing the horrible act. This is the first mediocre episode. 52 Mins. **.5/5 1 base pt. 1 pt. For bird attack. Total= 2 pts.

MONSTERLAND S1E5 Plainfield, Illinois: Two women in a toxic relationship grows more complicated when one of them becomes the undead. The first half drags a bit but it really picks up in the second and it comes together quite nicely. 52 Mins. ***.5/5 1 base pt. Total= 1 pt.

MONSTERLAND S1E6 Palacios, Texas: A man deformed by toxic chemicals from an oil spill discovers a mermaid and falls in live with her. It starts off strongly but doesn't live up to its potential. 43 Mins. 1 base pt. 1 bonus for animal attack  Total= 2 pts.

MONSTERLAND S1E7 Iron River, Michigan: A young woman goes missing and years later her friend takes over her life. I'm not really sure what the point of this one is but it's marginally entertaining. 47 Mins. ***/5 1 base pt. Total= 1 pt.

MONSTERLAND S1E8 Newark, NJ: A couple grieve the loss of their child in different ways. Meanwhile what seem to be angles' fall from the sky. It's starts off slow but this is a return to the quality of the first 3. Great performances and wild and emotionally resonant finale. 54 Mins. 1 base pt. 1 bonus point animal attack. Total= 2 pts.

50 STATES OF FRIGHT S1

E1-3 The Golden Arm (Michigan): Directed by Sam Raimi and starring Travis Fimmel this rad story is about a young woman who looses her arm in a tragic accident and her husband makes her a gold one. 24 Mins. ****.5/5 1 1 bonus takes place in national park

E4-6 Ball of Twine (Kansas): Ming Na Wen and Karen Allen star in this twisted tale about a town with a giant ball of twine that likes to eat its visitors. 16 Mins. ***.5/5 1 bonus animal attack

E7-8 Scared Stiff (Oregon) James Ransome stars as a taxidermist who gets a baby sasquatch and than its mother comes looking for it. 13 Mins. ****/5

E9-11 Grey Cloud Island (Minnesota) Asa Butterfield stars in this story about some frat initiates whom find themselves in the middle of what seems to be a cult sacrifice. 25 Mins. ***.5/5

E12-14 Destino (Florida) A couple of cops find themselves in a cult house filled with posession and demons. 18 Mins. ***.5/5

96 Mins. ****/5

2 base pts. 4 bonus pts. Total= 6 Pts.

50 STATES OF FRIGHT S2

E1-3 Almost There, Iowa: Taissa Farminga gives the best performance of her career as a young woman who must face her demons, literally when she's called up on a job. 24 Mins. 

E4-5 13 steps to hell: Rory Culkin stars in this tale of some kids who go to bury their pet and something much darker terrorizes them. 14 Mins. 1 bonus animals attack 

E7-8 Red Rum, Colorado: Christina Ricvis is excellent as a hotel clerk in s haunted hotel that doesn't like nosey visitors. 21 Mins. 

E9-10 Dogwood Azalea, Missouri: A couple who flips brings there daughter to a haunted one in which the ghost of the dead girl wants her to stay forever. Elizabeth Reaser stars. 14 Mins.

75 Mins. 1.5 base pts  2 bonus pts

Total= 3.5Pts.

Subtotal= 23.5 pts.

SPECIAL CHALLENGE:

THE BIRDS (1963): Alfred Hitchcock's nature strikes back classic is just as awesome as ever when killer birds invade Bodega Bay with badass final girl Tippi Hedren. 119 Mins. *****/5

AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981): John Landis helmed this brilliant, creative horror comedy with the most amazing practical effects. An American backpacking through Europe with his friend is attacked and infected by a giant werewolf. Hilarity and gory carnage ensue. 97 Mins. ****.25/5

Sub total= 15 pts.

SECRET FILM:

#5. NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986): Space slugs land on earth on s college campus. Fun flick with gnarly practical FX. 86 Mins. ****.25/5  Total=10 pts.

Total= 88.5 pts.

EATING OUT: OPEN WEEKEND

Zack and Benji open up their relationship while at an open weekend. Naughtiness ensues and Casey arrives to stir things up. I don't know if it's because I'm more invested at this point after 4 other films, but these films really do just get better and better. Sure the acting is still atrocious but the guys are hotter, the movie is funnier, sexier and more engaging. Plus it has the biggest heart of the whole series. If it ends on this chapter it's definitely on a high note.

7/10

EATING OUT: DRAMA CAMP

The boys end up at drama camp with a whole bunch of new studs with the sexual hijinks to match. This is even better than the others. Although these aren't great films they're very entertaining. Sometimes intentionally so and sometimes not. This time around relationship lines are pushed and the main continuing couple is challenged. There's of course even more eye candy this time around and despite some truly awful performances its funnier and sexier than the others.

7/10

EATING OUT: ALL YOU CAN EAT

A woman helps a gay friend find love with his crush on a dating website by posting his profile with a pic of her hot ex. But problems arise when her ex arrives and they have to keep the charade up. Although it's really more of the same this is the best entry yet. The two leads have good chemistry, although all of the performances leave something to be desired. There's lots more eye candy this time around and the movies even more raunchy. Hunky Chris Salvatore is a welcome edition and underneath all the whoriness is a heart.

7/10

EATING OUT 2: SLOPPY SECONDS

A gay man and his two girl friends hatch a plan to discover a sexy male model's orientation. Kyle the male member of the trio takes the model to a seminar about "going straight" and hijinks ensue. This is a bit more entertaining than the first and like that one it's funny and sexy with a bunch of eye candy. Although it's all quite predictable its more than amusing and is another somewhat successful entry in the growing queer sex comedy franchise.

6.5/10

EATING OUT

In this raunchy everything sex comedy a man falls for a girl. However his roomie makers her believe he's gay to get close to her hottie gay bestie whose into her new guy. It's pretty slutty but also sexy, sassy and funny. It's entertaining with pretty bad performances but it all works well enough for the guilty pleasure sex comedy that it is. Some of the side characters like Tiffani make it more entertaining by adding some much needed spice. But the actress who plays Gwen is quite annoying. All in all it's amusing but nothing groundbreaking.

6/10

XANADU

Olivia Newton John headlines this queer musical classic about a muse that falls in love with her target. A fabulous record album artist who decides with a stranger to open up a roller skating rink with magical results. Or at least I think that is what it's about. The whole movie is like being high on shrooms. It's super colorful and wonderfully gay. But besides a visual feast and a great soundtrack nothing's really going on. It tries desperately to connect the muicals of yesterday and modern day at the time but never finds the right vibe. The charachters are pretty but lack personality and depth and so does the story. On that aspect it was really hard for me to be completely engaged. That being said my fiancee and best friend love this movie and will probably murder me after reading it, so I'll end on a positive note. It's pretty and fun. <3

Budget: $20M

Box Office: $23M

6/10