NEW BLOOD: RESIDENT EVIL THE FINAL CHAPTER

RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER
Sony/Screen Gems
2017 Color
106 Mins.
Horror/Action/Sci-Fi
Milla Jovovich, Iain Glen, Ali Larter, William Levy and Ruby Rose star.
Written and Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
Rated R for language, violence and gore.

The Resident Evil franchise has been met with a lot of criticism since day one. Some of it warranted, no doubt. But despite the overall goofiness I've been a fan since day one. I consider the original film to be the best video game movie ever made (not a high bar) and with one of the most exciting cliffhangers of any movie ever made. It was followed up by an overly entertaining guilty pleasure in Apocalypse. Super action packed and filled with "game" dialogue and overly ridiculous characters. Apocalypse lacked the serious goods of the original but made up for it with spot on unintentional funnies. Extinction followed and brought the film franchise back with a gritty Mad Max edge. Extra gore with some bad ass action scenes and a truly unique cliffhanger. It had me jonesing for the next chapter. When I first learned of Afterlife and the fact that it was bringing back the original creator I was so overly excited. The film somewhat delivered on it's promise. It's certainly the most stylish of the bunch and loaded with tons of the franchise's best visuals. But the story and dialogue are lacking and the film only really works as a guilty pleasure. But that did nothing to tame my excitement for Retribution especially after learning some of the originals popular characters would be returning. Well I can honestly say that it was truly a wretched experience. Sure it looked great and the score is amazing but that god awful story line that doesn't move the franchise forward at all was pathetic. But in the end I was still excited for the next entry especially after learning it was the final chapter and they were ready to go all in. Well I'm happy to say that I wasn't disappointed. 

This supposed final chapter gleefully ramps up the ante delivering explosive action set pieces, awe inspiring stunt work and bringing the franchise back to it's more serious, scary, intense roots. The film centers on Alice as she learns of an airborne anti virus that can rid the world of the T Virus and everything it's created. On one final mission she gathers a mostly nameless( mostly useless) group of rag tag survivors to face down the Umbrella corporation once and for all. The films stakes and beasties are amped up. There is actual suspense here in not knowing who will bite the bullet (although occasionally it is quite obvious).  And yes it is a generic setup but the film's twists and turns tie up the franchise's mythology rather well. 

Don't be mistaken as usual there's still a plethora of potholes but I think it's important remember what kind of film this is. It's entertainment for people who enjoy movies like this. They may seem shotty or silly to some but it works for what it is. It also doesn't try to be anything else. There's no hidden subtext or commentary, it's just gory carnage and bad ass characters.

 And whether it's intentionally or unintentionally goofy the film deliver's the bloody goods. As for the visuals there are some neat spots here and there but nothing on par with the others. In addition it is rather impressive knowing they managed to execute a film of this magnitude for only $40 million. What's on screen looks to be north of a $100 million easy. And as for Milla she's beyond being game. The gorgeous 41 yr. old actress gives a 110% in every scene leaving it all on the table with her best performance as Alice. When all is said and done fans of the franchise will be pleased with the finished results. 

It's not as good as the first or the third but falls into line after that. It's a sensational edge of your seat thrill ride with a surprising punch of emotion. It's hard to say goodbye but who knows if it will really stick. I'm crossing my fingers it doesn't but if it really is the end they went out on top. ****.25/5

NEW BLOOD: SPLIT

SPLIT
Universal/Blumhouse
2017 Color
117 Mins.
Horror/Thriller
James McAvoy, Haley Lu Richardson and Anya Taylor-Joy  Star.
Written and Directed by M. Night Shyalaman
Rated PG-13 for violence, gore and adult themes.

I've been excited to see this movie ever since the trailers dropped. I found the premise so intriguing and it looked to be executed stylishly in a creeptacular fashion and than Shyamalan's name dropped and suddenly so did my excitement. After being punished with cinematic atrocities such as The Last Airbender, The Visit, The Happening and the abysmal After Earth, all of which had cool trailers, I wasn't expecting much. And than as the film neared release a ton of positive buzz started to emerge. But despite the excitement I still had my reservations. Well I'm happy to say I was wrong. Not only is Split the best of Shyamalan's career it's also an amazingly original, disturbing and nightmarish cinematic experience.

 The movie centers on three young women who are abducted by a man with 24 multiple personalities. I don't wanna say too much as it will completely ruin the film for you. But an abundance of sweaty palm inducing, edge of your seat suspense is generated as it marches towards it's gritty, illuminating, surprisingly fantastic finale. Now I don't wanna hype the proceedings up too much, it's not perfect. I do wish they would have built up two of the young women who fell to the wayside and the twist ending is both awesome and slightly disappointing but only for me. However, there is so much to appreciate here in this amazing cinematic experience. The subtext of the film is powerful and unexpected bringing up issues of abuse and the effects of it not just on the individual but society. And the film's message about people who have gone through dark times being purer of heart than those who haven't is really something powerful that so many people can identify with. 

But don't get me wrong this is a horror movie and it's truly horrifying. In fact the way in which the subject matter is explored and some of the visuals are so disturbing it's hard to believe this film received a PG-13 rating. The film is a solid showcase of just how friggin talented James McAvoy is (so hot here btw). I believe this film will be a break out role for him and will award him and garner him the much deserved stardom he deserves. He seamlessly moves through each of  the personalities believably giving each one them their own mannerisms and traits. It's truly inspiring to watch.

 Also so good is Anya Taylor-Joy which makes three solid performances in a row from this exciting new actress (The Witch, Morgan). But the real surprise her is Shylaman. After a string of disappointments he seems to have reestablished himself as a major force. Now truth be told this film may be a fluke and I myself will still be hesitant when I see his name on something. But this is a magnificent accomplishment nonetheless which I'm sure will be celebrated by audiences for years to come. ****.5/5

M. NIGHT SHYALAMAN'S WORK IN REVIEW

M. Night Shyalaman is not a name synonymous with quality fare as of late. Some would say he started his higher profile career off strong, I would say it landed on the decent end. But after only a few edgier products he soon began to deteriorate, recycling ideas and offering up ludicrous twists that didn't register with audiences. I wanted to look back on his career in lieu of the fantastic looking Split( I will posting that review tomorrow) which has gotten a ton of great buzz and it's being said that it's his return him to form. But below is more than enough proof to leave audiences questioning if he ever had that form to begin with.

SIGNS: Written, Directed and Produced by him in 2002 the movie was a big hit. Centering on a sort of small scale alien invasion. A family find themselves questioning their sanity as something terrifying from the skies seems to be targeting their farm. Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix and Abigail Breslin star. Although the twist at the end was a little hokey it is his best film in my opinion. Although borrowed, his execution reflected a more classic feel of Hitchcockian suspense and left viewers both baffled and on the edge of their seats. ****.25/5 Box Office: $408,247,917 Budget: $72,000,000

DEVIL: Although he only wrote and produced this is by far one of the best film's he's been associated with. Taut and edgy, directed solidly by John Erick Dowdle the film came after a slew of bombs from in 2008 but still managed to find a small audience with solid word of mouth. Starring Logan Marshall Green (So good in The Invitation). The film centered on a group of people trapped in an elevator and a rising body count. ****.25/5 Box Office: $62, 695,489 Budget: $18,000,000

THE SIXTH SENSE: Many were blown away in 1999 by his first big feature. Powered by a very solid Haley Joel Osment it centered on a young boy who saw dead people. The movie in my opinion was too obvious, I picked up it being weird that no one was actually talking to Bruce Willis's character early on. I actually thought it was just bad directing. Still the film manages some solid thrills and well executed suspense. It made a huge impact with audiences and was the base to Shyalaman's career for better or worse. ***.25/5 Box Office: $672,806,292 Budget: $40,000,000

THE VILLAGE: I remember seeing this film opening night and the ending being booed by the audience in a packed theater. Released in 2004 the film had an intriguing premise about a colony of people back in the day unable to leave their village because of the monsters in the woods. None of the film's promises come to fruition and almost every turn is a let down. I personally called the film's twist a quarter of the way through because I felt that either the film had bad set decoration or they were living in modern times. Although not a bad film Village didn't inspire much faith in what he had to offer but did spotlight a strong performance from Bryce Dallas Howard in her film debut. ***/5 Box Office: $256,697,520 Budget: $60,000,000

LADY IN THE WATER: I know people really hate this film but although I didn't think it was good by any means I found myself marginally entertained by what was on the screen. I also found the film one of his most ambitious and original creations that although mostly falls flat deserves credit in that he tried something new. The film centers on a quirky group of tenants in an apartment building who discover they are part of a prophecy to protect a mermaid of sorts against some beasties hunting her. It's hokey but some of the dialogue is fun and at least it's unpredictable. ***/5 Box Office: $72,785,169 Budget: $70,000,000 (flop)

THE VISIT: He tried to make a comeback in 2015 and did a little with this insipid, slightly offensive found footage thriller about two kids at their grandparents house. The film sadly resorts to jump scares and making fun of dementia. It's only mildly successful when playing the concept up for laughs. Crude and unoriginal. **/5 Box Office: $98,450,062 Budget: $5,000,000

UNBREAKABLE: Although this film hit earlier in his career in 2000 I consider it to be one of the worst films I've ever seen. I know it registers with a good amount of people. I found the film dreadfully boring with unintentionally funny performances especially from Samuel L. Jackson as Mr. Glass. At one point I had made fun of the movie saying "what is he a superhero". Well  the joke ended up being on me as I suffered through the drawn out proceedings miserably. *.5/5 Box Office: $248,118,121 budget: $75,000,000

THE HAPPENING: Despite a string of bad choices I still showed up for this supposedly darker and more hardcore Shyalaman film with excitement mainly because of it's intriguing premise and R rating. Once again the joke was on me and boy was it a huge joke. The solid cast embarrasses themselves through this hokey, generic bargain basement horror film about Mother nature taking the world back from us polluting humans. Laughably executed with a ridiculous twist the film managed to do a little money at the box office but put the last nail in his cinematic coffin. */5 Box Office: $163,403,799 Budget: $48,000,000

THE LAST AIRBENDER: Ugh how he ruined the Avatar anime. Although what's on screen is pretty much what happens during book one. It's executed in the most garish, amateur, ridiculously bad way. White washing the characters, everything about this production felt insincere and desperate. Although it sports some solid effects it's one of the most unwatchable cinematic disasters of all time. .5/5 Box Office: $319,713,881 Budget: $150,000,000

AFTER EARTH: What is there to even say. This movie pretty much killed Smith's career and it is absolutely abysmal. Dreadfully boring and confusing with a generic premise that has no originality. 0/5 Box Office: $243,843,127 box office: $130,000,000


UNSEEN:

SPLIT: I plan on seeing Split tonight and have some high hopes for it. I've heard some great buzz and the critical reviews are solid at 78% on rotten tomatoes and the audience is favorable at 81%. Hopefully it's not a travesty but at the very least I can expect a powerhouse performance from James McAvoy and some creepy thrills.

WIDE AWAKE (1998): Something about a ten yr. old who goes looking for god after his grandfather passes away with Rosie O' Donnell. Count me out.

PRAYING WITH ANGER (1992): An alienated, Americanized teenager of East Indian heritage is sent back to India where he discovers not only his roots but a lot about himself.  Sounds interesting but reviews aren't great and it's his first piece of work, so I'm thinking no.

NEW BLOOD: UNDERWORLD BLOOD WARS

UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS

Screen Gems

2017 Color

91 Mins.

Horror/Action

Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Tobias Menzies, Lara Pulver and Charles Dance star.

Written by Cory Goodman

Directed by Anna Foerster

Rated R for language, violence, gore and sexuality

Oh boy Underworld franchise, what is there to even say. We've had our ups (Evolution) and our downs (the original) but even though this isn't the worst of the bunch it's never been quite this bad. Centering around Selene who seems bored at this point. She travels the world alone evading vampires and lycans alike as they try and get her daughter's whereabouts of which she has no information. Que stylish action scene and unintentionally funny narration. There's a bitchy new vampire who wants to make sure Selene pays for what she's done played by a truly terrible Lara Pulver and than there's a new Lycan leader who has a secret vampire lover and a dark, terrible secret.

 Que stylish action scene. Selene and a very hunky David played solidly by Theo James join forces and visit a sort of snowbound vampire spa where everyone looks like their albino nazis after they are betrayed in which she gets highlights in her hair, becomes super fast and has an ice capades show. 

Que more stylish action sequences and lots of unintentionally funny dialogue. The thing is throughout all of this nonsense the film is still entertaining and never boring. The action scenes are mostly inspired and briskly performed. Except for Lara Pulver's horrible character Semira, and her ridiculous cartwheeling dance/fight scene with David. Beckinsale is still in fine form as Selene she does what she can with the material and mostly succeeds but the dialogue is just so awful in parts.

 This entry is also not as gory as the others and features more gun action and less fighting sadly. Director Anna Foerster does a bad job but it's no doubt that the film suffers from budgetary constraints it was reduced from 65 million to 35. In the end fans of the series will enjoy it at the most inadequate level. But the story itself is still interesting and hopefully if this entry hasn't killed the franchise her next adventure will be properly funded and put together by more capable hands. ***/5

NEW BLOOD: THE BYE-BYE MAN

THE BYE-BYE MAN
STX
2017 Color 
96 Mins.
Horror/Thriller 
Written by Jonathan Penner and Robert Damon Schneck
Directed by Stacy Title
Rated PG-13 for language, violence, sexuality and very light gore.

Honestly Did anyone even think this would be good. Like a sucker I still buy a ticket for every horror movie that hits theaters That being said I went into this one with very low expectations and came out feeling like it was both worse and better than I expected. The film centers on a group of young friends who move into a new off campus house and discover an urban legend in which if you say the villain's name he will haunt and manipulate you until you kill yourself. Yes, he makes you see delusions, it's that lame, que fake out jump scares.

 Sadly Faye Dunaway shows up a third of the way through to embarrass herself and the repeating mantra of 'Don't say it, Don't think it" is annoying and hilarious especially since the characters feel the need to constantly shout it to distract themselves. Not much thought is given to the history of the urban legend besides some flashbacks so we know where the night table came from. The deaths are very PG-13 mostly happening off the screen so don't expect any gory goods. 

One of the big problems Bye Bye man has is how inconsequential it all feels. The plot feels stolen and convoluted and although the film runs a too long 96 minutes it doesn't take any time building any of the characters so we care about them at all. In fact the execution is so sloppy their actions throughout seem irrational and forced. I'd love to say there was enough of the "so bad it's good" quality here but despite a hefty barrage of unintentional funnies  which come often, mostly from the film's insepid performances and silly dialogue " like students with sneakers covered in blood"  but it's not enough to merit even watching it once. 

Even though the librarians tackling of a moving vehicle is one for the books. I'd like to say the villain is cool but it's a guy in a coat with long fingers played by a completely wasted Doug Jones, he is accompanied by the cutest CGI hellhound you'll ever see.

 In the end the best thing I can say about this overly mediocre waste of time is that it isn't boring. At least there's enough going on here to make the time pass for better or worse. My suggestion stay home and watch Candyman that movie will scary the shit out of you. Also scary is the fact this film has made a decent amount of money this weekend which is the most terrifying thing of all meaning that a sequel is undoubtedly on the way. What great start to 2017 **.5/5