WTF? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THIS?: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE
Dimension
2006 color
90 Mins.
Amber Heard, Anson Mount, Michael Welch and Luke Grimes star.
Written by Jacob Forman
Directed by Jonathan Levine
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity, violence, drug use and gore.

This criminally underseen dark horror gem stars Amber Heard in what would have been a star making role if it was released properly as the title character. An innocent young teen who goes away with her friends on a holiday weekend to a secluded ranch. Soon after people begin to disappear as a mysterious killer dispatches them one by one. The body count grows and so do the suspects finally culminating to a surprising and disturbing finale. What makes this slice of teenage life so effective is how genuine it all feels. The kids in this film feel real from their insecurities about themselves and where they stand in the world and hoe they lash out at the closest people around them. The film offers an intriguing social commentary on the modern teen at their disconnection to everything around them. Even with all of that heft the film still delivers on the fun gruesome thrills and since the characters and story are solidly developed. We care about what's going on. Also quite impressive is the wonderfully atmospheric cinematography and perfect soundtrack. And the performances are solid across the board but Heard really shines in the lead. She gives Mandy so many intriguing layers.  There are many reasons why this film didn't receive the release it deserved most of them I'm sure have to do with the financials. Weinstein was going under at the time it was made and it was sold to Senator and they went bankrupt. Fortunately some years later it finally found the light of day with a super limited and unjustly quiet theatrical run and VOD release. Currently you can buy the film on DVD/Blu ray from amazon. Some other reasons may have to do with the controversial subject matter and execution of the material. The film is fittingly bleak for most of it's run time it's depictions of teens is strikingly shocking. Think Kids with a slasher twist. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane deserves to find it's audience it's a powerful little film that feels as timely now as the day it was supposed to come out. Deservedly Jonathan Levine is still having a promising career having directed 50/50, Warm Bodies and most recently The Night Before. ****.5/5

NEW BLOOD: THE WITCH

THE WITCH
A24
2016 Color
93 Mins.
Horror.Thriller
Anya Tayor-Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie star.
Written and Directed by Robert Eggers
Rated R for Violence, gore and Nudity.

The Witch finally arrives on a wave of solid buzz. Centering on a family in the 1630s who is torn apart by witchcraft after the disappearance of a child. There's really not much more to it than that. The Witch is a competently made film with solid performances, gloomy cinematography and a powerful score but the film doesn't really culminate too much. From the terrifying trailers you would expect a taut atmospheric classic horror film and from the buzz you would expect something really unique and intense. None of these things ring true with the finished product. Not that the Witch is bad in any way. It just doesn't seem to bring anything new to the table. We've seen films about this subject matter executed way more impressively. The film never seems to commit to the type of film it wants to be. It starts out in a more ambiguous tone leaving the horror more to the imagination and wondering if anything supernatural is actually going on. But as the film moves towards it's expected finale the supernatural side of things increases and not really in a believable way. The movie isn't really scary but it does have some inspired moments and a lot more with the promise of something really disturbing that never follows through. The performances are pretty solid across the board except for Thomasin portrayed by Joy. She's not bad it just seems a bit forced and performey. And that's really how most of the movie feels. More theatrical and not as genuine as it should be. In the end the film is impressive especially from a first time writer/director. I believe moving forward he will be able to be more confident in his execution. It all culminates to a somewhat silly disappointing finale. Unfortunately the film is never as horrific as it thinks it is and the proceedings are never as immersive or effective as you want them to be. The Witch is ultimately a forgettable but decent entry to the genre and one that shows promise for the people involved. ***/5

WEEKEND WARNING: THE WITCH/ CABIN FEVER

Well the choices are limited this weekend but we do have the arrival of a very strong entry "The Witch" is being strongly praised as a remarkable achievement in horror cinema. Below is a look into that film as well as a look at the Cabin Fever remake that arrived last week under the radar.

THE WITCH
A24
2015 Color
92 Mins.
Horror/Thriller
Anya Taylor Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie star.
Written and Directed by Robert Eggers
Rated R for violence and nudity

THE DEAL: The Witch tels the story of a troubled family in New England who begins to unravel when they move over to a forest with a dark past. Upon arriving horrific incidents begin to take place from terrifying visions to possession.


THE BUZZ: With 87% positive reviews out of 52 The Witch has been getting aton of terrifying buzz since premiering at festivals last year. The major names are saying that the film is thought provoking, original and terrifying. All signs point to this being a major treat for horror fans.

POSITIVE: 

Stephanie Zacharek of Time Magazine says " The Witch has been made with extreme care, and part of what makes it's supernatural elements so terrifying is also in tune with the more ordinary challenges of just being human. "

Andrew Wright of the Portland Mercury says " By the final enigmatic scene, a sustained state of magic terror has been achieved that more than justifies the acres of hype."

Vincent Mancini of Film Drunk says " Impressive, Immersive Unsettling and deeply unpleasant, a seriously scary film that painstakingly put me in a world I didn't like being in very much."


NEGATIVE: 

Ethan Sacks of New York Daily News says " There's not much of a coherent plot that's been summoned up to go along with those impressive visuals."

David Nusair says " An absolutely disastrous cinematic experiment."


CONCLUSION: The Buzz for this film is suspiciously high with all sings pointing to it being a new classic along the lines of It Follows. The terrifying trailers are atmospheric and unnerving. Even though there is a little amount of doubt with genre films receiving such a high rtaing from critics something is telling me that they are on point. I am 80% sure this will be a fantastic movie. Clink on the link below for the nightmarish trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWcLADSFvr4

UNDER THE RADAR-CABIN FEVER (REMAKE-VOD)

CABIN FEVER
IFC
2016 Color
99 Mins
Horror
Gage Golightly, Matthew Daddario, Dustin Ingram and Samuel Davis star.
Written by Eli Roth and Randy Pearlstein
Directed by Travis Zariwny
N/R contains language violence gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use

THE DEAL: This shot for shot remake using the same script was Roth's idea. Buzz has been overwhelmingly negative but Roth's cult classic was a rough mix to begin with. The film centers on a group of hard partying teens that come across a flesh eating virus in the backwoods.

THE BUZZ: The film is sitting at 0% positive out of 14 reviews with an average user score of 1.9 out of 5 yikes.

POSITIVE: None

NEGATIVE: 

Geoff Berkshire of Variety says "This dud sets a new standard for the term pointless remake."

Glenn Kenny of the New York Times says "Who Benefits from the existence of this film?"

Felix Vasquez Jr. of Cinema Crazed says " A superior remake even if it is still abysmal nonsense."

CONCLUSION: I Don't know despite the terrible buzz I feel like remaking Cabin Fever this way is an interesting idea. Whether it is actually good or not I don't think is really the ultimate stamp of approval. Those who are fans of the fun but ridiculous original like myself will be interested just to see how the same film can be executed differently. I am 55% sure this will be an intriguing watch. Plus the gore looks insane especially in that infamous bathtub scene Check out the fun trailer below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scJIYwH6keM

HORRORESQUE: DEADPOOL

DEADPOOL
Fox
2016 Color
100 Mins.
Action/Comedy
Ryan Reynolds, Ed Skrein, Brianna Hildebrand, T.J. Miller, Monica Baccarin and Gina Carano star.
Written by Rheet Reese and Paul Wernick
Directed by Tim Miller
Rated R for graphic violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and strong language

I wasn't sure what to make of this film before seeing it. I really felt that an R Rated superhero movie from Marvel could go either way. Would it be excessive just for the point of being excessive or would it have reason to. Well I'm happy to say that all that vulgarity, ultra violence, sexuality and brazen cockiness is at home here.  Believe the hype because not only is Deadpool the best movie released in quite some time but it's also the most courageous big studio film of the last decade. And the results are in, their gamble paid off with a massive. unexpected 150 million dollar opening weekend. The film centers on the title characters origin story and his path to revenge.  When we first meet Wade he's a hitman of hire for sorts playfully helping the little people. Soon after he meets Vanessa his equal, a sexy, fast talking independent vixen they fall in love and than he finds out he has terminal cancer and is approached by a shady business man who offers him the chance to beat it. Unwilling to accept his condition because of Vanessa he decides to participate in it discovering that it's a plethora of sadistic torture techniques and a serum to unleash his mutant genes. Well it works and after discovering it's true purpose he seeks out revenge against the people involved. Ryan Reynolds has finally found the perfect role. His brand of sarcastic trash humor is at home here. His comic timing is impeccable and pairs well with the dirty dialogue and his tight razor sharp bod. Any questions you might have about the quality of the film will easily be addressed in the film's gnarly, grotesque opening scene. You will know from that point on if you're down for this wicked ride or more at home with family friendly versions of the material. I can't rave enough about this film I was laughing hysterically and the action was gruesome, inventive and fantastic. Most surprising is how emotionally resonant the proceedings are . Buried underneath all this brutality beats a big gooey heart and I guess that's point. As far as the violence is concerned you can expect decapitations, bodies being crushed, many severed limbs, being burned alive and all other kinds of ghastly torture as well as a fantastically brutal fight scene between a nude, mangled Ryan Reynolds where he shows his impressive goods and a sexy Ed Skrein. Also impressive are small roles by a very funny TJ Miller and Brianna Hildebrand as the unknown Negasonic Teenage warhead, she's just perfect! Deadpool is a fantastic movie and I hope one in a long line of films that will reinvent the mediocrity that has plagued cinemas as of late. *****/5

THANK YOU SO MUCH WE JUST HIT 1000 VIEWS!!!!!

Thank you so much for visiting my little blog. I've just hit 1000 views and am so happy! I started this up a while ago on the advice of some people and I really love it! As you can all tell I'm a huge fan of horror movies and everything horror in general! Moving forward you can expect more of the same as well as contests and additional columns. Thank you so much for visiting and make sure to have a scaretastic day! Below are some of my favorite horror gifs!!!!

13 TERROR FLICKS TO DIE FOR ON V DAY

That dreaded time of the year has arrived once again. Filled with candy hearts and boxes of chocolates, bouquets of flowers and dinner by candlelight. But for some of us it's a different time of year most people will celebrate the holiday with a romantic dinner and the latest Nicholas Sparks gag fest but for us genre fans it's boxes filled with bloody hearts, deadly love notes, obsessed stalkers, lobotomies, and inter-species love afairs amongst lots of other bloody goods. Below is a list of alternative films for those of us who like to share our hearts ripped out of our chests. 

13. WARM BODIES: This youth skewing zombie romance gets a bad rap. It's actually a pretty clever spin on the whole undead genre. And it's perfect for the red holiday. It's light on gore but Palmer and Hoult's chemistry is great and the movie has a fare amount of laughs and creative scares. 

12. THE FLY (1986): Cronnenberg's now classic remake features Jeff Goldblum as a scientist obsessed with perfecting his teleportation device. Along the way he falls for a rambunctious journalist played by Geena Davis. But after a terrible accident he begins to transform into a fly/human hybrid. Oozing with spectacular gruesome graphic practical effects that hold up the film also features a strong love story between the two leads and they have great chemistry. It all ends in goretatsic tragedy that will leave bloody tears streaming from your ducts.

11. MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981): I hate even including this because it's such an obvious choice but there is no doubt that it fits perfectly on this list. Following the Friday the 13th slasher craze at the time. "Valentine" set it's gruesome events on the title holiday as a group of silly teens come up against a local town legend about a killer who targets people on V day.Set in a mining town the killer dons a gas mask and a big pickaxe. With the combination of unintentionally funny romantic melodrama and gory death setpieces "Valentine" is a whole lot of fun!

10. THE LOVED ONES: Taking Brutal obsession to this extreme this criminally underseen gorefest is right up V day's alley. The film centers on a young man  who is kidnapped by his obsessed stalker and her father. Who torture him so that he can fulfill her high school dreams . It culminates to syringes filled with windex and a lobotomy with a drill as well as a disturbing secret that comes to light. After you see it you will never forget it! Perfect for a reminder of how good you have it whether it be single or dating someone not quite as psychotic as Lola.

9. VALENTINE: This stinker of an attempt to make a new horror franchise is flat in almost every facet but one. It's so bad that it's good. The unintentional funnies run freely as a cupid masked serial killer brutally murders people on the red holiday. Katherine Heigl (pre fame), Denise Richards, Marley Shelton and David Boreanaz embarrass themselves in goofy performances. Roses are red, Violets are blue. They are going to dental records to identify you. Classic.

8. SLITHER: If you missed this grotesque Night of the Creepesque creature feature. Rush out now and see one of the goriest, creative, funny creature features ever released. Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker and Nathan Fillion shine as an alien species arrives on earth and begins infesting people mutating them and making them very, very hungry. 

7. ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE: This disturbingly real foray into the teen slasher sub genre. It centers around the innocent Mandy Lane portrayed by the world's hottest woman Amber Heard. She's the envy of all the boys at school and one's willing to kill to make her his. This twist is a kicker and fantastically brilliant!

6. MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D: Superior remake amps up on the fun and blends the melodrama along with some of the craziest use of 3D in a horror film I've ever seen. Still the best experience with the format I've had in the theater. The setup is the same as a gas masked killer targets a town on V day with gruesome results. Jamie King, Sexy Jensen Ackles and Kerr Smith star. The movie starts of strong and only gets better as it goes along. A perfect treat for the red holiday. Fun and bloody!

5. NEAR DARK: This Little Vamp love story comes courtesy of Oscar Winning director Kathryn Bigelow and features a cast of genre all stars Jeanette Goldstein, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Adrian Pasdar and Jenny Wright. This a grimy, dirty little horror flick with a strong gooey love story at it's center is a prime pic for V day. The combination of dark humor, gritty violence, vampires and romance has never been repeated successfully.

4. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989): The Director of Fan fave Halloween 4 blessed horror fans with this gory little seen adaptation of the famous story. Robert Englund is mesmerizing as the Phantom and Jill Schoelen is perfect as Christine. The music, the cinematography and the dark execution are perfect and much needed for the material. A real cinematic gem and a must see for fans of practical effects!

3. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3: This undead spin on the whole Romeo and Juliet theme was one of my favorite movies growing up. It has a thick campiness running throughout it as well as some romantic melodrama but what's most impressive is the practical effects on display especially of the main zombie after she's mutilated herself. The movie is a fun, gory, romantic tragedy filled with lots of blood and guts.

2. BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992): Francis Ford Coppola's lush reinvention of the famous book is a visually striking, powerful dramatic horror romance. Coppola brings to life every facet of the gothic novel in a film that as horrific as it is emotionally resonant. Featuring now iconic performances by Gary Oldman as the Count. Anthony Hopkins as the Van Helsing and Winona Ryder as Mena. Sexy Keanu reeves , Cary Elwes, Sadie Frost and Monica Belluci also star. Gorgeous cinematography, wondrous costumes, and award winning makeup fill this seductive cinematic gothic horror masterpiece!

1. DEAD ALIVE: Most people would forget that cinema's goriest film ever made is also a powerful love story. Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame (yes LOTR) directs this goofy gorefest about a strain of zombie virus that hits a small town. It infects a mean Old Woman whose very possessive of her only son Lionel whose in love with a bodega clerk. Blood, Guts, body parts, and lots of gore and vomit explode throughout the film along with zombie babies, horny zombies and a priest whose trained in martial arts and fights for the lord. It all culminates with a spectacular, chaotic, cartoonish gorefest as the zombies descend upon a party. All the while Lionel does anything he can to protect the girl of his dreams but only if he can get past Mother and being sucked back into her womb literally.

NEW BLOOD: AREA 51

AREA 51
Paramount
2015 Color
92 Mins.
Sci/Fi-Thriller
Reid Warner, Darrin Bragg and Ben Rovner star.
Written and Directed by Oren Peli
Rated R for language, sexuality, gore and violence.

Oren Peli's follow up to the original Paranormal Activity finally arrived in May of last year after being delayed and now we know why. Area 51 kinda sucks. The film follows a group of friends that decide to explore the secretive base and run across some deadly E.T.s. The movie is disappointing on so many levels. Unlike paranormal one this film never builds any suspense or a believable atmosphere. As with most found footage films the leads have a bit of charm but the culmination of events is lackluster at best. When they do finally get to the goods like the later paranormal entries the camera veers away from them leaving us the audience stupefied to why the film was even made to begin with. The camera work is reminiscent of Cloverfield but way less effective and the light special effects on display look cheap and costumey. All in all it's not the worst film I've seen but one that's instantly forgettable tossed rightly into the cinematic rubble of this strained subgenre. **/5