Friday, November 13, 2015

FRIDAY THE 13TH RANKED

We've lucked out with a bunch of Friday the 13ths this year! Sadly this is the last one for a while and for each of them I have marathoned the movies. We are finally in the final stretch of things and there's no time than better to revisit the classic slasher series especially since it's the last Friday the 13th til 2017. :-(

Below you will find the movies ranked best to worst as well as stats and other tidbits of info about each chapter. Enjoy and don't forget to subscribe to my blog!

1.FRIDAY THE 13TH:
Paramount 1980 color 95 Mins.
Adrienne King, Betsy Palmer and Kevin Bacon star.
Written and Directed by Sean S. Cunningham
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use

It's hard to judge the original Friday against all the others because it's so different. But it is the best. I don't think it's the most entertaining of the series but it has the best story and the twist ending is executed brilliantly. This one features a fresh batch of counselors getting crystal lake ready for some campers. They of course start getting knocked off one by one by a mysterious slasher in increasingly horrific ways until only one final girl is left standing and the killer is revealed.

Originally destroyed by critics the original Friday was a box office success with a budget of $500,000 and a total domestic box office of $39.7 million and a worldwide box office of $59.7 million. It may seem like small potatoes now but it's considered to be one of the most successful independent films of all time making over a hundred times it's budget. In the years since it's release critics have revisited the now cult classic with positive reactions.

The film set the bar for slasher films to follow with almost every aspect of it being copied to death in every way imaginable. It also introduced us to the iconic villain Jason Voorhees even though he wouldn't don his famous hockey mask until the third entry and features one of the most iconic genre scores of all time.

The film also featured a young studly Kevin Bacon in a speedo and featured some incredible makeup effects by Tom Savini which include a throat spearing and an axe to the head amongst many others. The film holds up surprisingly well and still features one of the best jump scares in cinematic history.



Also check out the link below for the original final girl Adrienne King's winery website which feature Chiller White, Midnight Merlot, Moonlit Chardonnay Survivor Syrah and Cabin A Sauvignon!


http://crystallakewines.com/


5 OUT OF 5 MACHETES!


2.JASON LIVES: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI:
Paramount 1986 Color 86 Mins.
Thom Matthews, Jennifer Cooke, Tony Goldwyn and CJ Graham star.
Written and Directed by Tom McLoughin
Rated R for language, violence, gore sexuality and nudity

Following the disastrous sequel the new beginning the original idea for this sequel had Tommy Jarvis as the film's villain but because of the horrible fan reception they went back to the basics. But with a new, more bad ass interpretation of Jason. This time around and for the first time in the series the proceedings take on a supernatural element as he is resurrected from his grave by lightning on a stormy night after being dug up by some curious peeps. He arises with superhuman strength, covered in maggots and moves forward with some of the most insane death scenes of the series. Which include a head twist off as well as a body fold. This time around Tommy Jarvis returns to Crystal lake to stop the masked madman for once and all. Unfortunately some new camp counselors have descended upon the cursed property with little kids in tow.  It all leads up to a head splitting finale on the lake!



Besides the supernatural edge with the material the film also introduced the franchise to action sequences including shoot outs and car chases. And a brand of self referential humor that pre dated the Scream franchise and who many believe to be the inspiration for it.

The film was a surprising critical success being the best reviewed since the original and featured some of the franchises best characters which include a sexy Thom Matthews as Tommy Jarvis and a peppy rebellious cops daughter in Jennifer Cooke as Megan.



The film unfortunately suffered from a bit of franchise fatigue with a total domestic box office haul of 19.4 million but still holds up as the most entertaining of the series and the deserved fan favorite.

5 OUT OF 5 MACHETES!

3.FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD:
Paramount 1989 Color 88 Mins.
Lar Par Lincoln, Kane Hodder, Kevin Spirtas and William Butler star.
Written by Manuel Fidello and Daryl Haney
Directed by John Carl Buechler
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use.

Continuing on refreshing the franchise with unique concepts. For the first time in the series Jason meets his match. He goes head to head with the final girl of the franchise in my opinion Tina played solidly by Lar Par Lincoln. A troubled young woman with telekinetic powers. It all sounds a bit hammy and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't but the film's final twenty minutes are everything!

Although the film was met with negative critical reception initially it has grown to become a fan fave.  it featured what is now considered to be the franchise's definitive Jason by fans as portrayed by the amazing Kane Hodder. Adding personality as well as a slight vulnerability to the character. Jason has never been more intimidating with an exposed rib cage and spine he crawls out of the murky depths to wreak havoc on some visiting campers which include an axe to the face, a party horn to the eye, a head crushing and many more gory delights.

Besides the unique approach the film is a little light on the plot side, but hey anything to get you to the goods right! And it also features some remarkable Jason makeup by the director John Carl Buechler especially during the film's finale when his mask is squeezed off (watch it to understand).



Growing up this wasn't just my favorite Friday but one of my favorite movies ever. But after having recently revisited the 6th entry as well as this one I couldn't help but rank this remarkable film a close third. Unfortunately like with the previous entry the audience fatigue continued. The film debuted at no. 2 with 8.2 million and only made 19. 2 in it's entire run.

And speaking of that finale TVs, Couches, Roofing, light bulbs, nails, tree roots and so much more are thrust upon a confused Jason by our fierce little horror heroine.


It also has a franchise best poster.




4.75 OUT OF 5 MACHETES


4.FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER:
Paramount 1984 Color 91 Mins.
Peter Barton, Crispin Glover, Corey Feldman and Judie Aronson star.
Written by Barney Cohen
Directed by Jospeh Zito
Rated R for language violence, gore, sexuality and nudity.

Originally planned as the final entry in the franchise the film it was obviously followed by sequels after being a huge commercial success at the time. The film is fun but doesn't bring anything new to the franchise besides a movie geek edge with a focus on special effects. Picking up after the events of 3 Jason returns to stalk a family which includes a young Corey Feldman whose obsessed with Makeup effects a new batch of horny teens which includes a gorgeous Peter Barton and a young, adorkable Crispin Glover.





The film was met with negative critical reception but is considered one of the fan's top faves. The film opened with a than stellar 11,183,148 million and finished off with 32,980,880 million

Speaking of the film's awe inspiring makeup effects which were done by genre legends Tom Savini and Kevin Yagher among a few others. Some examples are the goodies that fill young Tommy's room, the last battle against Mr. Voorhees has his head slowly sliding through a machete as well as a machete to the face, a crushed head in the shower and a slow knife through the throat while a young woman eats a banana.


4 OUT OF 5 MACHETES


5.FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III
Paramount 1982 Color 95 Mins.
Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Jeffrey Rogers and Richard Brooker star.
Written by Martin Kitrosser and Carol Watson
Directed by Steve Miner
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use.

Riding the 3D craze part 3 is best viewed in guilty pleasure mode because there is so much here to celebrate if not taken seriously. The plot synopsis is generic as some teens get hacked up by our homicidal villain. But what sets this entry apart to most genre fans is that this is the chapter where Jason receives his now iconic Hockey Mask.

In this entry most of what works is what doesn't from the cheesy 3D effects to the stereotypical and borderline offensive characters, the splendidly campy performances and who could forget that disco score. Some of the 3Ds best moments include a wired snake, a popped out eyeball and someone getting hacked in half while doing a handstand.



The entry was met with negative critical reception but became the number two grossing horror film that year behind Poltergeist. With only a 2.25 Million dollar budget the film made 36.6 milion and was the first film to finally displace ET at the top of the box office.

Since it's release the film has garnered a cult following because of it's over the top characterizations and absurd plot twists including a gang of bikers. Couple that with the hammy 3D scares and you have a movie that's so bad it's good. All of this is topped off by the most over dramatic performance from a final girl Chris who feels the need to scream and shake repeating the same words over and over again. One of the films more subtle comedic gem moments comes when Vera the token Hispanic girl goes into a grocery store and is told by the clerk that they don't except food stamps before she draws anything from her purse. She immediately stops reaching and hangs her head low. Comic gold.

As for the effects some of the kills are pretty fun but don't really hold up. The head squeeze and the handstand among the best. All in all it's a fun time and the most ridiculous entry of the franchise including when he went to space.



3.5 OUT OF 5 MACHETTES


6.FRIDAY THE 13TH PART II:
Paramount 1981 Color 87 Mins.
Amy Steel, Adrienne King, Russell Todd and Betsy Palmer star.
Written by Ron Kurz
Directed by Steve Miner
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use.

Following up the surprise success of the original Paramount went with a safe approach not straying to far from the formula of the original that made it so popular. This entry picks up 5 years after the events of the original as a new killer stalks the would be camp counselors.

The film initially received negative critical reception. In the years since it's original release it has been celebrated as the film that introduced us to our iconic, hulking killer and cemented the formula that would make the films such a cash cow.

Originally the film was planned as the second part in an anthology series based on the Friday the 13th superstition. But after the success of the original they went with a direct sequel that would have Jason taking up where his mother left off, punishing naughty teens at camp.

Adrienne King, the original final girl from the first movie opted for a smaller role because of a stalking situation after starring in the first film.

Although it wasn't as big a success as the original the film still made over 21 million on a shoestring 1.2 million dollar budget.

Even though the film isn't great it still has it's moments including some neat little death scenes the machete to the face and the spear through the couple being the most effective and an inspired edge of your seat finale. It all leads up to a final jump scare that aims to be a shocking as the original and although a little disturbing is more confusing than anything else.



This entry also features two of the franchises's hottest guys in Russell Todd who played Scott and is now a silver fox talent agent and Tom McBride who played Mark confined to a wheelchair for the film but not handicapped in real life. An openly gay actor at the time. Sadly he passed away in 1995.




3.25 OUT OF 5 MACHETES

7.JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
New Line 1993 Color 91 Mins.
John D. Lemay, Kari Keegan, Kane Hodder and Steven Williams star.
N/R contains strong language, violence, gore, sexuality and nudity.



Marking the masked madman's first tango with New Line. Jason Goes to Hell is without a doubt a mixed bag at best. But no one can say that the helmers didn't opt for a creative angle to tackle the material. Released on August 13, 1993 against Needful Things and Man's best friend. The supposed final entry found it hard to naIl down an audience making only 7.6 Million and ultimately only making 15.9 Million even with that famous ending that would eventually lead to Freddy Vs. Jason. It was still considered a decent success however with a low budget of only 2.5 Million.



Instead of opting for a more traditional Friday format the film approached the title madman as a sort of evil entity that can be transferred from person to person in the form of a slug like creature until finally being reunited with his surviving blood line where he can be reborn. It's all a little confusing, doesn't make much sense is ripped apart from many better films, hell even Evil Dead to some degree. But "Hell" does have it's charms. Most of which are quite possibly the best and most inventive death scenes of the series. Which include but are not limited to someone getting their face fried, people being basically torn apart with many bones and appendages broken but the film's crowning achievement best viewed in the film's unrated cut is a tent sex scene with a hot stud that ends going horribly wrong as a sphere is jammed through the girls lower mid section and ripped upwards. It needs to be seen to be believed.







Along for the ride is John D. Lemay who you may remember from The Friday the 13th TV series and genre legend Kane Hodder strutting his stuff once again as Jason. The film initially received negative reviews and hasn't grown in popularity since than. It's sloppy, just check out the beginning when the woman in the towel running barefoot in the woods has boots than slippers than socks all in plain sight and it isn't a traditional Jason film. But that finale when Freddy reaches up from the depths of Hell and grabs Jason's mask inspires goosebumps and for better or worse the film is creative and unique among the franchise and does offer a fare amount of fun.



3 OUT OF 5 MACHETES

8.JASON X
New Line 2002 Color 91 Mins.
Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, David Cronenberg and Lisa Ryder star.
Written by Todd Farmer
Directed by James Issac
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use.

It was only a matter of time before we joined our title villain in space. Jason X released on April 26, 2002 was an immediate bomb. Even though there had been a 9 year gap between sequels the audience never got on board with the new reboot. It made a paltry 6.649 Million opening weeend and made 16, 659 worldwide on an 11 million dollar budget. It was also met with negative critical and audience reception even though it arrived on a wave of buzz.

The film starts off in 2008 as Jason is captured by scientists and frozen. He awakens 455 years later on a space ship after a school field trip accidentally finds and defrosts him. Now on a spaceship on it's way to Earth 2 our campy killer targets a new group of horny teens.



Jason X is a bad movie. But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't have it's charms. There are some really inventive killing scenes,  The best being a young woman whose face gets dipped in liquid nitrogen and than smashed into a table. But there are other more inventive angles as well like the way approach the material . Everything is done with a welcome sense of humor. And even though the film isn't clever it's throwback to 80's horror is appreciated especially during it's finale, when we visit camp crystal lake again. Unfortunately it can't save a film that doesn't seem to know what a good Jason movie is made out of. Instead opting for over the top performances and silly plot twists.



The film also introduced a new design for Jason as he is repaired by a futuristic medical device. He is reborn made of metal with a shiny new mask.


A young adult book series continued the story line in 2005 and was also adapted into a comic series. The death scene which involves liquid nitrogen was also the focus of a mythbusters episode.

For better or worse Jason X continued to try and reinvent the franchise. Although ultimately it was a fail Jason X has enough good and so bad it's good going on to merit a viewing.

2.75 OUT OF 5 MACHETES

9.FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Paramount 1989 Color 100 Mins.
Kane Hodder, Jensen Daggett and Peter Mark Richman star.
Written and Directed by Rob Hedden
Rated R for language, violence, gore sexuality and nudity.

Few movies are as disappointing as Friday 8. I remember being a kid and I couldn't wait til this film came out. especially having become obsessed with the 7th entry. I thought initially it would take place in Manhattan with Tina his telekinetic nemesis. But instead they opted to do just another Friday film. Not a bad thing but going in with the expectation of taking the action to the dirty streets of NYC left much to be desired. And worst of all the film mostly takes place on a boat to Manhattan.

The setup is simple Jason is resurrected from his water logged prison and stakes himself out on a boat filled with horny teachers heading to the big apple. He systematically begins to slaughter them in really mediocre ways which include a young woman simply being choked to death. When he finally gets to the city there are a few inspired bits which include but are not limited to him interacting with a street gang and a so bad it's good boxing match on a rooftop. It all leads up to the most confusing and ridiculous finale of the whole franchise.



The film opened with 6.2 Million and only made 14.3 million in total. It did face tough competition from Pet Sematary, Nightmare on elm st. 5 and Halloween 5 but still deservedly failed and hit a franchise low.

Since it's release the film hasn't garnered any more acclaim from critics or audiences and was ranked by Entertainment weekly as the 8th worst sequel ever made. Still there are a few bits that don't make it worth it but still add some amusement to the failed proceedings.

2.5 OUT OF 5 MACHETES

10.FRIDAY THE 13TH : A NEW BEGINNING
Paramount 1985 Color 92 Mins.
Juliette Cummins, Todd Bryant, John Shepard and Melanie Kinnaman star.
Written by Martin Kitrosser
Directed by Danny Steinmann
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, drug use and nudity.

You would figure the director of cult classic Savage Streets would have had more fun approaching the Friday franchise. Instead what stands is a boring retread of the same ol same ol which doesn't add anything new to the series. Considered by most fans to not even be a part of the franchise because of the absence of Mr. Voorhees himself.

The film is centered around young Tommy Jarvis now grown up as a hot teen whose mentally disturbed and doesn't even take place in Crystal lake. Instead setting the events at a sort of home for troubled youths in Pennsylvania.

The kills are mostly mediocre but the film does have it's moments. The final chase is inspired, it has one or two impressive death set pieces and despite failing miserably it did try something new. The film was originally setup to start a new trilogy with a new killer. But because of the poor fan reception they returned with Tommy Jarvis and the original madman in the sixth chapter.

The film received negative critical reception and started to decline the franchise's box office. Still the film was a success it opened with over 8 million at number 1 and finished it's run with 21.9 million with only a 2.2 million dollar budget.

The film had set a series high body count at the time and also is remembered for having a excessive amount of sex and nudity. Still the film is a mess at best and is the second worst franchise installment in my opinion.

2 OUT OF 5 MACHETES


11.FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)
New Line 2009 Color 97 Mins.
Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears and Willa Ford star.
Written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use.



2009 saw the eventual reboot of our beloved franchise. In the hands of the man Marcus Nispel who reinvented the Chainsaw legacy to greatness. Expectations were high and the finished product is the worst entry in the Friday series. You would think it wouldn't have been hard to remake or reestablish another Friday film. Sex, Nudity, Drugs, Kills, right. But you'd be wrong. The Friday films have all of those elements and repeatedly but the most successful chapters were not defined by them. The main problem with this execution is that it takes itself way to seriously and never delivers on any of the things that made the franchise popular to begin with. And worst of all it's ridiculously stupid.

Set up as a reboot the film glosses over the events of the original re imagined and goes right to Jason as an adult. He murders some campers. There is a marijuana field and a magical school bus as well as some questionable tunnels throughout Crystal Lake that he lives in. A group of teens hits up the area for some good times and comes across the most boring reinvention of the killer in the entire series. The film is never scary or suspenseful and has no imagination. the characters are dull and lifeless. In fact the best part of it is that Jared Padalecki is hot. It all leads up a stupefying last moment of epic proportions.

Although met with negative critical reception the film grossed more than 19 million on it's first day out grossing many of the Friday films for their entire run. It finished up with over 43 Million for the holiday weekend making it the biggest horror opening of all time. It also had one of the biggest drops in cinematic history dropping 85.8 percent from Friday to Friday and an overall 80 percent on it's second weekend. It ended it's impressive domestic haul with 65 million and 91 worldwide. The film is handsomely filmed but is a disappointment on every other level.

There are still ongoing plans for a sequel but with the poor recption it's looking like the film series will have to rebooted once again. There was speculation of a sequel being set in the winter and another idea was it being found footage.

1.5 OUT OF 5 MACHETES



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