Screen Gems
2006 Color
97 Mins.
Horror/Thriller
Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch, Chace Crawford, Toby Hemingway, Kyle Schmid, Laura Ramsey and Jessica Lucas star.
Written by J.S. Cardone
Directed by Renny Harlin
Rated PG-13 for language violence and nudity.
Marketed by the studio as the first in horror films geared towards women. When watching any part of this film it's really hard to believe that this film wasn't obviously geared towards gay men. The film opened to dismal reviews with 3% from Rotten Tomatoes but still managed to top the box office with 8.9 million on a weak weekend in October 15, 2006. I was of course one of the first people in line especially after those seductive trailers with shirtless pretty boys shooting powers at each other. Well I can tell you the fruits of watching The Covenant proved worthwhile giving so much more than what I expected from the previews. The film is an over the top camp fest with wooden acting some cool FX, lots of shirtless hotties and even a little booty.
The film centers on a studly young man named Caleb played by the delicious Steven Strait, who along with his four hot buds (none of which belong in high school) are known as the the Sons of Ipswich. All of them possessing secret magical powers. Soon after the adrenaline junkie beginning he is introduced to a sexy new student Chase played by a than unknown Sebastian Stan who went on to play the Winter Soldier in the Marvel movies. He also runs into a borderline annoying young woman who becomes his love interest. lots of CGI magic occurs along with some soap opera twists. And also lots of swim practice, Oh did I mention the boys are on a swim team clad in Speedos. The movie is slightly exploitative to women zooming in on breasts and panties for no reason but that's nothing compared to the slow gazes featured on the guys abs, asses and their overall stunning physiques.
BIGGEST GAY BAIT MOMENT: The film's biggest gay bait moment comes after a quick little magic fight between Caleb and Chase. A wounded Caleb lies on the ground and a maniacal Chase kisses him. Huh? I'm pretty sure that wasn't necessary but appreciated none the less.
In Conclusion The Covenant is a perfect movie to watch for Homoerotic Hump Day. It's PG-13 but sports enough scantily clad bodies and guys that talk all too close for comfort to warrant a watch or two.
Watch the trailer below and check out the pics of the hot cast with my personal ratings:
TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP0C9gox1yc
STEVE STRAIT AS CALEB DANVERS
TAYLOR KITSCH AS POGUE PARRY
TOBY HEMINGWAY AS REID GARWIN
HEYYYYYY RATING 8.5/10
SEBASTIAN STAN AS CHASE COLLINS
CHASE CRAWFORD AS TYLER SIMMS
HEYYYYYY RATING 7.5/10
AS A BONUS I'VE POSTED THE HOT LOCKER ROOM SCENE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2pbo7tZIqw
OVERALL MOVIE RATING 3.5/5
HOMOEROTIC RATING 4.5 WOODIES OUT OF 5
Marketed by the studio as the first in horror films geared towards women. When watching any part of this film it's really hard to believe that this film wasn't obviously geared towards gay men. The film opened to dismal reviews with 3% from Rotten Tomatoes but still managed to top the box office with 8.9 million on a weak weekend in October 15, 2006. I was of course one of the first people in line especially after those seductive trailers with shirtless pretty boys shooting powers at each other. Well I can tell you the fruits of watching The Covenant proved worthwhile giving so much more than what I expected from the previews. The film is an over the top camp fest with wooden acting some cool FX, lots of shirtless hotties and even a little booty.
The film centers on a studly young man named Caleb played by the delicious Steven Strait, who along with his four hot buds (none of which belong in high school) are known as the the Sons of Ipswich. All of them possessing secret magical powers. Soon after the adrenaline junkie beginning he is introduced to a sexy new student Chase played by a than unknown Sebastian Stan who went on to play the Winter Soldier in the Marvel movies. He also runs into a borderline annoying young woman who becomes his love interest. lots of CGI magic occurs along with some soap opera twists. And also lots of swim practice, Oh did I mention the boys are on a swim team clad in Speedos. The movie is slightly exploitative to women zooming in on breasts and panties for no reason but that's nothing compared to the slow gazes featured on the guys abs, asses and their overall stunning physiques.
BIGGEST GAY BAIT MOMENT: The film's biggest gay bait moment comes after a quick little magic fight between Caleb and Chase. A wounded Caleb lies on the ground and a maniacal Chase kisses him. Huh? I'm pretty sure that wasn't necessary but appreciated none the less.
In Conclusion The Covenant is a perfect movie to watch for Homoerotic Hump Day. It's PG-13 but sports enough scantily clad bodies and guys that talk all too close for comfort to warrant a watch or two.
Watch the trailer below and check out the pics of the hot cast with my personal ratings:
TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP0C9gox1yc
STEVE STRAIT AS CALEB DANVERS
HEYYYYYY RATING: 9.5/10
HEYYYYYY RATING: 9/10
TOBY HEMINGWAY AS REID GARWIN
HEYYYYYY RATING 8.5/10
SEBASTIAN STAN AS CHASE COLLINS
HEYYYYYYY RATING: 8.25/10
CHASE CRAWFORD AS TYLER SIMMS
HEYYYYYY RATING 7.5/10
AS A BONUS I'VE POSTED THE HOT LOCKER ROOM SCENE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2pbo7tZIqw
OVERALL MOVIE RATING 3.5/5
HOMOEROTIC RATING 4.5 WOODIES OUT OF 5
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