SNATCHERS (2019)

I randomly bought this movie and I'm soooooo happy I did. Normally when I do this it's a disaster but I really found a gem. I've heard a little buzz about this and the reviews are good but I had no idea what I was getting. It all starts off as young womsn in high school has s3x with her boyfriend after he returns from Mexico. The next morning she awakes 9 months pregnant and tries to figure out with her ex best friend what's going on. But when they finally make it to the doctor's and a crazy ass alien bug comes flying out they must warn the townsfolk before an all out invasion happens. Its clever, funny and horrifying with some practical FX and a lot of heart. There's no doubt this was a labor of love from the filmmakers and the results are so creative and overly entertaining. Definitely one of the best and most fun genre films of the years.

4.25/5

TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS BORDELLO OF BLOOD

This was Tales from the Crypts 2nd attempt in hopes of making a successful franchise. Unfortunately audiences never bit and this goofier version of From Dusk til Dawn barely made a ripple financially. That being said it's a wonderfully funny, intentionally trashy and entertaining horror flick along the lines of it's criminally underseen predecessor. Although not as good it's one hell of a fun time. The film centers around funnyman Dennis Miller (Net) as a cheap dick in search of a young woman trashy younger brother played by a douchey Corey Feldman (Lost Boys). It just so happens he went to a brothel that doubles as a funeral home run by a wonderfully campy Angie Everhart a.k.a Lillith the first vampire. Chris Sarandon (Fright Night), Erika Eleniak (Under Siege) and Phil Fonducaro (Ghoulies 2) also star in this ultra campy hidden guilty pleasure gem.

Budget: $2.5m
Box Office: $5.8m

4/5

JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES

When originally seeing this movie I hated it. Revisiting it so many years later I have to say it's even worse than I remember. Most of it's mainly due to an unlikable performance from James Woods (The Getaway) and a terribly written character. Poor Sheryl Lee (Twin Peaks Fire walk with me) gets thrown around, punched, slapped and stripped. She doesn't even have a character and the blatant misogyny made me feel very uncomfortable. Than there's The other Baldwin brother Daniel who has some overly mediocre moments but the character is just so badly written. Only Thomas Ian Griffith as the head vamp and Tim Guinee as Father Adam offer any real likability, charisma or depth. And as for the film itself. It's pretty much a disaster. It tries to be a sort of biker vampire flick. Its mean spirited but lacks any real engagement and because of that its boring and you could just care less.  A definite dark spot in Carpenter's accomplished career.

Budget: $20m
Box Office: $20m

1/5

A KISS BEFORE DYING (1991)

I've liked this movie ever since I was a kid ( yes I was a disturbed individual). But revisiting it I never realized how dark and gruesome it was. The film stars Sean Young (Blade Runner) as Ellen a young do gooders with a rich family. Her sister seemingly commits suicide but we know she's been murdered by her hunky fiancee Johnathan played by a scary Matt Dillon (Crash) which just so happens to be Ellen's new beau. Ellen suspects and Johnathan tracks up a brutal body count. Which I'm sure helped Dillon get ready for the film the house that jack built. Its entertaining and stylish. I loved the thrillers of this era that tried to emulate the beauty of the films of the golden age and mix them with some sheer tastiness. For other examples check out Final Analysis and Pacific Heights.  It can all be a bit gaudy and goofy at times but this one builds up to a killer finale even though it feels slightly familiar.

Budget: $27m
Box Office: $15m

4/5

THE KINGDOM S2 (NETFLIX)

THE KINGDOM S2 (NETFLIX)

Surprisingly the story comes to an end with this season and leaves an opening for a third which I desperately need to see. Whereas the original had terrific, intense horror action setpieces and a fare amount of setup. This is pretty much all battle with some truly crazy ass twists. If your a fan of train to busan definitely check this series out its fantastically entertaining.

4.5/5

THE RICH MAN'S WIFE (1996)

Revisiting this lifetimey thriller I still enjoyed it if only for the films tense and surprising finale. Halle Berry (Monster's Ball) stars as a trophy wife who at the beginning is hauled into the police station after her husband is murder and she proceeds to them what happened. She tells of a troubled marriage and the meeting of a psychotic stranger who decides to murder her husband and blackmail her. Clive Owen (King Arthur) also stars as her secret boyfriend. But the movie iui s seriously stolen by a charismatic Clea Lewis as Owen's trashy ex wife. The movies plot is stolen from better films but executed in a guilty pleasure, melodramatic hitchcockian way. And despite a few unintentional laughs because of Berrys over dramatic performance the movie does end up quite thrilling if all too familiar.

Box Office: $9m

3.5/5

SILENT SCREAM (1979)

I've never really heard of thos movie but I picked it up at a horror con with 2 others that were 3 for $50. I'm always a sucker for a good deal and always looking out for hidden gems I may have missed. Well unlike most times I actually found one. Silent scream is a tense little slasher about college kids being offed one by one in brutal fashion after moving into suggested student housing. The movie is fun in that retro way and the story and twists are surprisingly good. That being said I can understand why it's not referred to that much. Although entertaining it's just not all that memorable. Still in the history of slashers it's a classier one that's well made with a great performance by scream queen Barbara Steele.

BOX OFFICE: $8M

3.5/5

THE GLASS HOUSE

I always been a fan of this film although if I being honest I don’t think it’s very good. It feels a little cliched and TV moviesh with sometimes overly dramatic performances from a normally solid cast. That being said the performances aren’t bad and the movie is entertaining as a guilty pleasure. The film stars Leelee Sobieski (My First Mister). Remember she was hot for like fifteen minutes and kind of looked like Helen Hunt and mumbled a lot (I loved her of course). Well she is a moody teen who looses her parents to a car accident and goes to live with her younger brother to the Glasses, family friends. Played by a creepy Stellan Skarsgård (Thor) and a layered Diane Lane(Under the Tuscan Sun). Once arriving at their cold, stylish house things start to take a weird turn from the father seemingly hitting on her to drug abuse, hit men and her questioning whether her parents death was an accident. It’s gorgeously filmed and quite suspenseful even though it all feels a bit familiar. Although overly entertaining the films pacing and focus feel off at times. It jumps between genres and plot points. Ultimately it’s mostly successful because it indulges in the trashiest of its concept.

BUDGET: $22M
DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE: $18M
WORLDWIDE BOX OFFICE: $24M

3.5/5

DIABOLIQUE (1996)

I've always really loved this movie since seeing it as a young queer impressionable youth. I of course learned to absolutely worship Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct) in her cold, campy, iciness. But even more than that this film is as absolutely delicious guilty pleasure. Although I've never seen the original classic this one centers around two women living in a posh boarding school. Mia played by an ethereal Isabella Adjani (Possession) is constantly berated and emotionally abused by her awful husband played by a monstrous Chazz Palminteri (Usual Suspects) who just so happens to be having an affair with one of the school's teacher Nicole (Stone). The two women are surprisingly friends and hatch a plan to murder the husband which they seemingly do until his body disappears and a mystery begins. Kathy Bates (Misery)  also stars as a charasmatic detective. The movie is flooded with the campfest dialogue like "you should try praying, wear your knees out that way for a change". It's just delicious and criminally underseen. Aside from the amazing camp the film is ultra stylish from its gorgeous retro inspired cinematography to the 60s inspired wardrobe worn perfectly by the gorgeous Sharon Stone. It's also a surprisingly immersive and suspenseful ride. The twists are unique and intriguing and the movie is always entertaining.

Budget: $39m
Box Office: $17m

4.25/5

THE HOST (2013)

I know alot of people avoided this because the same author as Twilight, Stephanie Meyer wrote the books this was adapted from. But honestly this us a completely different experience. Andrew Niccol of one of my favorite sci/fi films Gattaca directs this stylish, passionate, creative spiritual take on the Body Snatchers treatment. The truly wonderful Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn) stars as Melanie a strong, independent young woman trying to desperately to survive during a seemingly peaceful invasion. The Aliens are delicately implanted in the bodies of humans in which the souls struggle to remain. The movie takes place mostly in her brain as the extra terrestrial tries to learn to live with the voice and passion of her captive transforming the way she sees her situation. Like Twilight there is a love triangle of sorts as Melanie is given 5he cold shoulder by her boyfriend Jared played by a ridiculously gorgeous Max Irons (Red Riding Hood). And the being begins to have feelings for another young man named Ian played by a handsome Jake Abel (Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters). But the movie is so much more than that. It truly explores what it means to be human and all of the complexities and gifts that come along with it. Unfortunately the movie wasn't a hit like the book so we won't be able to see this truly intriguing universe continued. Sure at times it can be a bit hammy but the sheer originality of it is absolutely compelling.

Budget: $40m
Domestic Box Office: $27m
Worldwide Box Office: $63m

4.5/5