FINAL BOI'S 2015 HORROSCARS!

Just in time for the Oscars today! Here's my own annual celebration of the unjustly denied genre films and the people who make our lives as horror fans just that much better! please feel free to comment and don't forget to subscribe

BEST HORROR MOVIE:

IT FOLLOWS-Few films recently have had the visceral impact of this justly successful horror indie. From it's opening moments when a frantic young woman races out of her house from an unseen horror to the creepy showdown at a swimming pool. The film is filled with a dread inducing score and a nightmarish atmosphere throughout it's run time. It Follows is undoubtedly a new horror classic. With it's classic execution and socially conscious themes running through out it's easy to see why the film was such a breakout!

BEST DIRECTOR

Todd Strauss Schulson: FINAL GIRLS- A sure runner up for film of the year. The Final Girls was unjustly denied a wide theatrical release despite it's brilliant setup and wonderfully entertaining payoff. Centering on a group of horror fans who find themselves in an actual 80's horror flick. The film is funny, clever and filled with strong emotionally resonant performances. Kudos to director Todd Strauss Schulson for nailing a super fun blend of comedy and light horror to make a unique, classic movie going experience.

BEST SCREENPLAY

M.A. Fortin and Joshua John Miller: FINAL GIRLS-Their brilliant screenplay fueled one of the most original films of the year. Their sharp dialogue and inspired plotting moved things along briskly in an explosive way making the proceedings feel fresh and immersive. Congrats to these guys for pulling off an intriguing blend of increasing cleverness that was a love letter to old school genre fans! P.S. when looking up these guys you'll notice genre vet Miller was a big presence in the 80's starring in everything from Teen Witch to Near Dark!

BEST ACTOR:

ADAM SCOTT: KRAMPUS-Krampus was filled with lots of fun goodies for us genre fans. But standing at the forefront was one hell of a kick ass performance from Adam Scott. Nailing a combination of hilarious comic timing and being scared as shit at the increasingly weird events around him. Scott is due for breakout stardom with his quirky good looks and engaging persona. Always a faithful genre presence check him out in the super fun/trashy Piranha 3D as well.

BEST ACTRESS


OLIVIA TAYLOR DUDLEY: THE VATICAN TAPES-If you managed to see this slightly above average film in it's super limited release or recently on DVD it's hard not feel the raw impact of it's leading lady. Many before her have done the whole possession thing but Dudley brings a genuine artistry to it all as she moves confidently between victim and villain. Filled with many cringe inducing moments Dudley shines throughout the trying role elevating the material around her.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

JEFFREY DONOVAN: EXTINCTION- This criminally underseen post apocalyptic horror thriller is filled with strong performances throughout but sexy Jeffrey Donovan of Burn Notice and BW2 is it's King of the Castle. He adds a real emotional zest and fierce survival depth to Jack, A man whose been wronged and has still managed to become a solid parental figure to a young girl amidst the chaos.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

MALIN ACKERMAN: FINAL GIRLS- Final girls is filled with many wonderful performances but Ackerman really nails her role. She brings a real maternal layer and a childlike naivety to her Nancy/Amanda. When we first meet her in the real world she's a struggling actress and a mother who dies tragically and than we meet her once again in her famous Scream Queen role in the movie within a movie. She cleverly plays with the sexuality, silliness and emotional resonance of the material. Delivering on all accounts in an inspired execution.

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BEST CAST

FINAL GIRLS- Was there even a question? Malin Ackerman, Alexander Ludwig, Nina Dobrev, Taissa Farminga, Alia Shawcat, Thomas Middleditch, Adam Devine and so many more hit their marks exceedingly well. Together with their great chemistry they bring to life this criminally underseen comedic horror tale. All bringing more depth and confidence to their roles.

BEST POSTER

IT FOLLOWS: This gorgeous old school poster evokes a sense of hipster horror with a original tinge. Gorgeously created with the right imagery to capture the horror of the film and pull us viewers in. 

BEST SCORE

DISASTERPIECE: IT FOLLOWS- The music perfectly fills every sweaty palm inducing scene. Drenching the film in an atmosphere of approaching menace and unknowable horror. There hasn't been a genre score this powerful or memorable since the classics (the Exorcist, The Omen, Halloween, The Shining, Jaws)  which it's sure to become!

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

MIKE GIOULAKIS: IT FOLLOWS- It Follows is nightmarish and one of the main reasons is Gioulakis's menacing slow burn cinematography. Capturing each scene in a surrealistic way with a sense of impending doom. His wide pan shots of something moving towards you in the background is the stuff bad dreams are made of. Inspired and Classic, his rich eye for horror is something that deserves applause!

BEST GORE EFFECTS

CARLO ANTONINO AND HER TEAM: EXETER- Have you seen Exeter. if so you witnessed the plethora of gooey gore and it's quite impressive. From impalements to sawed offed limbs and faces being torn apart there hasn't been a more impressive stew of bloody carnage in any genre film in 2015.

BEST CREATURE DESIGN

MATHIEU BAPTISTA: KRAMPUS- No matter how you felt about the movie Krampus's main monster was something to be hold. With a hooded cloak made of ghastliness the gorgeous creature sports soulless eyes, a gruesomely long tongue and disturbing razor sharp claws. He's definitely not someone to fuck with.

SCARIEST  BOOGEYMEN

WE ARE STILL HERE- You would be hard pressed to find creepier boogeymen in 2015 than the nightmarish ghosts of We are still here. Their dark entities spouting smoke, demonic eyes and a rich disturbing atmosphere stay with you long after the film is over.

BEST CGI

JURASSIC WORLD- It's pretty easy to see why JW's phenomenal CGI would take the cake. Filled with lots of new dinos and some returning favorites. JW reigned supreme as it perfected those nasty beasties giving us our moneys worth in spades.

MOST STRIKING VISUAL

THE LAZURUS EFFECT- Maybe the movie wasn't fantastic but that striking image of Olivia Wilde floating demonically down a burning hallway is beautiful and horrific in the best way.

SCARIEST MOMENT 

IT FOLLOWS: TALL MAN- How could you forget the moment when a dark, soulless version of the monster comes closely behind following a young woman into a room. It shook the audience to it's core and reminded people how scary and creative jump scares could truly be.

HOTTEST GUY

ALEXANDER LUDWIG; FINAL GIRLS/FINAL GIRL- Heyyyyyyyy Alexander Ludwig has come along way from his days at Witch Mountain. He's returned to the scene in the form of a tall, muscular greek god with a killer smile and sparkling eyes. It's no surprise that he's one of the hottest guys working the genre today!

Honarable Mention: The Boys of MUCK: The movie is completely exploitative of it's actors but hey that's not such a bad thing here. Ripping there shirts and clothes at the most ridiculous of times. it's hard to appreciate the killer bods on display.

HOTTEST GIRL

NINA DOBREV: FINAL GIRLS: Finally leaving behind her TV persona in The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev graced the silver screen with her charismatic wit and killer good looks. from her long luscious locks to impressive physique it's hard not to notice this scene stealing beauty.

BEST VILLAIN

JESSICA CHASTAIN: CRIMSON PEAK- I always appreciate an actor whose not afraid to go batshit crazy when it comes to playing a ghastly villain. Oscar Winner Jessica Chastain does that in spades as Crimson Peak rockets towards it's insane conclusion. Chastain wields a bloody razor with inspired glee and a manic intensity.

BEST COMEBACK 

BRUCE CAMPBELL: ASH VS. EVIL DEAD-It's not like he ever really left. But Campbell stormed back with this perfect continuation of out beloved franchise. Bringing his chiseled good looks and  lovable charismatic douchey sense of humor back to the franchise giving it just the right punch for starving genre fans. Here's lookin forward to season 2!

BEST TV SHOW

ASH VS. EVIL DEAD- Was it even a question? It's no doubt that Ash Vs. Evil Dead was the TV show of the year! Delivering on everything we could want this 10 episode season brought the ghastly goods from finely tuned plotting, creepy scares buckets of fun gore and lots of laughs the series stands as the most enjoyable genre experience of the year!

MOST DESERVING OF A FRANCHISE

FINAL GIRLS: Anyone whose seen and loved this movie knows that if any film deserves a franchise it's this perfect, innovative little genre feature. Leaving us with a inspired little cliffhanger we can only hope the same people involved return to bring us more clever carnage!

LEAST DESERIVING OF A FRANCHISE

INSIDIOUS: It all started out so perfectly. The Original Insidious was brilliant and absolutely terrifying but with the arrival of this third strained unwanted chapter it's leaving us asking why? This once brilliant franchise has lost all of it's pizzazz instead leaving us with an assortment of cliched scares, insipid makeup effects and laughably bad dialogue. 

SO BAD IT'S GOOD

MUCK: Steven Wolsch's disastrous film is perfectly awful in all the right ways. From it's ridiculously sexy cast to it's exploitative use of them. The film features buckets of playful gore unintentionally funny dialogue and some of the most creative and stupendous sequences in any genre film of the year. For extra fun make sure you view the film with lots of booze, try and sort out the rationality of the characters actions and give all your attention to the many over the top slow mo shots!

DELICIOUSLY AWFUL PERFORMANCE

THE CAST OF MUCK: Listen no one in Muck is there to deliver a life altering performance, not that some of them aren't trying which makes it that much more fun. Delivering the corny dialogue with deadpan emotional range they are more focused on showing their abs, biceps, boobs and booties than anything else.  But like the movie it's hard not too appreciate how deliciously awful it all fits.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY LAUGHABLE MOMENT 

THE GREEN INFERNO( Spoiler): There isn't any moment this year more absurd or laughable than that trick ending at the end of Green Inferno where our main actress turns to face someone with what seems to be wax monster teeth. It sent the audience I was with into a hysterical uproar!

HORRORESQUE: GODS OF EGYPT

GODS OF EGYPT
Lionsgate
2016 Color
129 Mins.
Action/Adv-Fantasy
Gerard Butler, Brandon Thwaites, Courtney Eaton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Bryan Brown, Rachael Blake and Geoffrey Rush star.
Written by Matt Sazama and Burt Sharpless
Directed by Alex Proyas
Rated PG-1 3 for language and violence


10 THINGS TO DO IF YOU GO TO THE THEATER TO SEE GODS OF EGYPT:


1. Visualize the director's better films Crow, Dark City, Knowing.
2. Make a list of errands you have to do the following day.
3. Braid your hair.
4. Cut your fingernails.
5. Keep going to the concession stand to buy food.
6. Sneak out of the theater and see something else, anything else.
7. Think of a better movie you could make.
8. Think of jokes you can tell about the movie after it's over.
9. Sneak in lots of liquor and get drunk
10. Kill yourself.

Oh Alex Proyas why has though forsaken me. The Crow and Dark City are a few of my favorite films and unlike most I even found Knowing intriguing. But 'GOE" is the hottest mess to come out of Hollywood in quite some time. Built with a 140 million dollar budget this epic failure starts off in an alarmingly but strangely immersive campy tone. After the fight 15 minutes that falters and it becomes a loud, obnoxious groan fest. Where people shout constantly at each other and every scene is more unbelievable than the next and ends in an insepid one liner. Lots of people show up to embarrass themselves here Oscar Winner Geoffrey Rush is one I feel most ashamed for. The movie is packed with cartoonish CGI, dialogue and plotting written by a 2 year old and is only entertaining if being shouted at by an annoying kid for two hours sounds fun . The only thing the film has to offer is a fare amount of impressive visuals courtesy of Proyas's imagination but despite that every facet of this overblown cinematic turd is D.O.A. *.5/5

SO BAD IT'S GOOD: VALENTINE

VALENTINE
Warner Bros.
2001 Color
96 Mins.
Horror/Thriller
Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, David Boreanaz, Jessica Capshaw, Jessica Caufield, Katherine Heigl, Fulvio Cecere, Daniel Cosgrove and Adam Harrington star.
Written by Donna Powers
Directed by Jamie Blanks
Rated R for language, violence, gore and sexuality

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. They're gonna need dental records to identify you. Lots of fun rhymes populate this terrible wannabe slasher franchise that offers up the goofy so bad it's good cheap thrills in spades. The film tells that generic story of a young boy bullied at a Valentine dance. And than returns later as an adult to wreak havoc on those who have wronged him. The setup is basic  and executed much better in everything from Terror Train to Prom Night but when you meet those shallow bitches as adults is when the funnies really begin. From the forced, over sexualized performances to the unnecessarily gruesome V Day horrors the film overstays it's welcome by maybe 30 mins but offers a lot of entertainment along the way. In it's defense you can tell that no one associated with the production is taking it too seriously and that fun attitude shows through it's run time.Also the production value for a film of this type is rather impressive. But a bad movie is still a bad and a fun bad movie is always welcome. Valentine is just that a movie that wants to be scary but is generically executed to be anything but an "up all night" feature. Featuring a disastrously delicious turn from Denise Richards, her hot tub scene is everything! ***/5

WTF? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THIS?: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE
Dimension
2006 color
90 Mins.
Amber Heard, Anson Mount, Michael Welch and Luke Grimes star.
Written by Jacob Forman
Directed by Jonathan Levine
Rated R for language, violence, gore, sexuality, nudity, violence, drug use and gore.

This criminally underseen dark horror gem stars Amber Heard in what would have been a star making role if it was released properly as the title character. An innocent young teen who goes away with her friends on a holiday weekend to a secluded ranch. Soon after people begin to disappear as a mysterious killer dispatches them one by one. The body count grows and so do the suspects finally culminating to a surprising and disturbing finale. What makes this slice of teenage life so effective is how genuine it all feels. The kids in this film feel real from their insecurities about themselves and where they stand in the world and hoe they lash out at the closest people around them. The film offers an intriguing social commentary on the modern teen at their disconnection to everything around them. Even with all of that heft the film still delivers on the fun gruesome thrills and since the characters and story are solidly developed. We care about what's going on. Also quite impressive is the wonderfully atmospheric cinematography and perfect soundtrack. And the performances are solid across the board but Heard really shines in the lead. She gives Mandy so many intriguing layers.  There are many reasons why this film didn't receive the release it deserved most of them I'm sure have to do with the financials. Weinstein was going under at the time it was made and it was sold to Senator and they went bankrupt. Fortunately some years later it finally found the light of day with a super limited and unjustly quiet theatrical run and VOD release. Currently you can buy the film on DVD/Blu ray from amazon. Some other reasons may have to do with the controversial subject matter and execution of the material. The film is fittingly bleak for most of it's run time it's depictions of teens is strikingly shocking. Think Kids with a slasher twist. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane deserves to find it's audience it's a powerful little film that feels as timely now as the day it was supposed to come out. Deservedly Jonathan Levine is still having a promising career having directed 50/50, Warm Bodies and most recently The Night Before. ****.5/5

NEW BLOOD: THE WITCH

THE WITCH
A24
2016 Color
93 Mins.
Horror.Thriller
Anya Tayor-Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie star.
Written and Directed by Robert Eggers
Rated R for Violence, gore and Nudity.

The Witch finally arrives on a wave of solid buzz. Centering on a family in the 1630s who is torn apart by witchcraft after the disappearance of a child. There's really not much more to it than that. The Witch is a competently made film with solid performances, gloomy cinematography and a powerful score but the film doesn't really culminate too much. From the terrifying trailers you would expect a taut atmospheric classic horror film and from the buzz you would expect something really unique and intense. None of these things ring true with the finished product. Not that the Witch is bad in any way. It just doesn't seem to bring anything new to the table. We've seen films about this subject matter executed way more impressively. The film never seems to commit to the type of film it wants to be. It starts out in a more ambiguous tone leaving the horror more to the imagination and wondering if anything supernatural is actually going on. But as the film moves towards it's expected finale the supernatural side of things increases and not really in a believable way. The movie isn't really scary but it does have some inspired moments and a lot more with the promise of something really disturbing that never follows through. The performances are pretty solid across the board except for Thomasin portrayed by Joy. She's not bad it just seems a bit forced and performey. And that's really how most of the movie feels. More theatrical and not as genuine as it should be. In the end the film is impressive especially from a first time writer/director. I believe moving forward he will be able to be more confident in his execution. It all culminates to a somewhat silly disappointing finale. Unfortunately the film is never as horrific as it thinks it is and the proceedings are never as immersive or effective as you want them to be. The Witch is ultimately a forgettable but decent entry to the genre and one that shows promise for the people involved. ***/5

WEEKEND WARNING: THE WITCH/ CABIN FEVER

Well the choices are limited this weekend but we do have the arrival of a very strong entry "The Witch" is being strongly praised as a remarkable achievement in horror cinema. Below is a look into that film as well as a look at the Cabin Fever remake that arrived last week under the radar.

THE WITCH
A24
2015 Color
92 Mins.
Horror/Thriller
Anya Taylor Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie star.
Written and Directed by Robert Eggers
Rated R for violence and nudity

THE DEAL: The Witch tels the story of a troubled family in New England who begins to unravel when they move over to a forest with a dark past. Upon arriving horrific incidents begin to take place from terrifying visions to possession.


THE BUZZ: With 87% positive reviews out of 52 The Witch has been getting aton of terrifying buzz since premiering at festivals last year. The major names are saying that the film is thought provoking, original and terrifying. All signs point to this being a major treat for horror fans.

POSITIVE: 

Stephanie Zacharek of Time Magazine says " The Witch has been made with extreme care, and part of what makes it's supernatural elements so terrifying is also in tune with the more ordinary challenges of just being human. "

Andrew Wright of the Portland Mercury says " By the final enigmatic scene, a sustained state of magic terror has been achieved that more than justifies the acres of hype."

Vincent Mancini of Film Drunk says " Impressive, Immersive Unsettling and deeply unpleasant, a seriously scary film that painstakingly put me in a world I didn't like being in very much."


NEGATIVE: 

Ethan Sacks of New York Daily News says " There's not much of a coherent plot that's been summoned up to go along with those impressive visuals."

David Nusair says " An absolutely disastrous cinematic experiment."


CONCLUSION: The Buzz for this film is suspiciously high with all sings pointing to it being a new classic along the lines of It Follows. The terrifying trailers are atmospheric and unnerving. Even though there is a little amount of doubt with genre films receiving such a high rtaing from critics something is telling me that they are on point. I am 80% sure this will be a fantastic movie. Clink on the link below for the nightmarish trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWcLADSFvr4

UNDER THE RADAR-CABIN FEVER (REMAKE-VOD)

CABIN FEVER
IFC
2016 Color
99 Mins
Horror
Gage Golightly, Matthew Daddario, Dustin Ingram and Samuel Davis star.
Written by Eli Roth and Randy Pearlstein
Directed by Travis Zariwny
N/R contains language violence gore, sexuality, nudity and drug use

THE DEAL: This shot for shot remake using the same script was Roth's idea. Buzz has been overwhelmingly negative but Roth's cult classic was a rough mix to begin with. The film centers on a group of hard partying teens that come across a flesh eating virus in the backwoods.

THE BUZZ: The film is sitting at 0% positive out of 14 reviews with an average user score of 1.9 out of 5 yikes.

POSITIVE: None

NEGATIVE: 

Geoff Berkshire of Variety says "This dud sets a new standard for the term pointless remake."

Glenn Kenny of the New York Times says "Who Benefits from the existence of this film?"

Felix Vasquez Jr. of Cinema Crazed says " A superior remake even if it is still abysmal nonsense."

CONCLUSION: I Don't know despite the terrible buzz I feel like remaking Cabin Fever this way is an interesting idea. Whether it is actually good or not I don't think is really the ultimate stamp of approval. Those who are fans of the fun but ridiculous original like myself will be interested just to see how the same film can be executed differently. I am 55% sure this will be an intriguing watch. Plus the gore looks insane especially in that infamous bathtub scene Check out the fun trailer below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scJIYwH6keM