Tuesday, December 24, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS HORROR DAY 24 AND 25



It's a double feature of Christmas horror that needs to be revisited on a yearly basis. It set the bar for a ridiculous amount of RIP offs that never measured up to the original or to the guiltiest of pleasures sequel
 These are two hott killer Santas that are bloody insane.



SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT
Tri Star Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin and Linnea Quigley star. Written by Michael Hickey Directed by Charles E. SE
seller Jr. Rated R for strong language, violence, nudity, sexuality and gore.


Back when this was released in November of 1984 there was a huge backlash against. From the PTA to the churches people picketed it saying that it was destroying the image of Santa. That of course only drove up the box office taking in 2.9 million in ten days of release beating A Nightmare on Elm Street at the time. Unfortunately it was tanked from theaters because of all the controversy but the film has garnered a well deserved cult following since. Personally it's a film that I think is still very underrated and I revisit it every year. Centering on a young boy who witnesses his parents savagely murdered by a psycho Santa Claus suit he experiences trauma all his young life while at a strict Catholic orphanage. Eventually he turns 18 and becomes a mega hunk. Literally the hottest killer ever on film and his past comes back to haunt him when he's asked to put on a Santa suit at his toy store job.




He of course combines his original trauma with that of his teachings of sinners and punishment and starts rolling it out in increasingly graphic fashion. The movie is shot well and the performances are pretty good. But what sets this film really apart is the story development. We are truly given a unique look at the boys trauma as well as the culmination of events that inspire him to ultimately become the nightmarish killer. Although never really scary because hes just too handsome the movie is suspenseful with tense chase scenes and edge of your seat death set pieces. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea as you can see from the years of controversy but it is a damn good film.

RATING= 8.5 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10




SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2
1987 88 Mins. Eric Freeman and Elizabeth Kaitan star. Written and Directed by Lee Harry Rated R for strong language, violence, nudity, sexuality and gore


This is one hell of a turkey. Now I always found it hilarious that Ricky, Billy's baby brother recounts the events of the first movie when theres no way he could have known about them and the fact that half of this film's run time, maybe even more is scenes from the first film. Revisiting I had another though besides a cheap cash in was that because it was yanked from theaters maybe they were giving people an opportunity to see what they missed on the big screen. As for the rest of it Ricky is grown into one killer hunk just like his brother and of course after some trouble with his girlfriend begins dispatching people around Christmas.


 For most of the films hes re counting the events of the original in a police room where you discover he went on a killing spree. He of course escapes and goes after the root of his trauma Mother Superior. What little of a new movie there is, is interesting story wise but the acting is awful, like porn awful especially from the lead but also so perfectly goofy it shouldn't be missed and the new death set pieces are mildly effective and entertaining. Make no mistake it's an awful movie unlike the original but one that's so bad it's actually great!

RATING= 7 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10

To anyone reading have a wonderful holiday and look back at the other entries for some great recommends for the deadly season!!

Monday, December 23, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS HORROR DAY 23




DON'T OPEN TIL CHRISTMAS 
1984 86 Mins. Edward Purdom and Alan Lake star. Written by Derek Ford Directed by Edmund Purdom Rated R for strong language, violence, gore, nudity and sexuality.




Well I was hoping to stumble onto some classic Xmas gem but as always I end up regretting my decision. This year is no different with 1984s seasonal British slasher. It's something about a killer whose stalking the streets in search of people dressed in Santa Claus outfits. He stabs and pokes them amongst many other gory delights.





The movie works in very small moments. Some of which are mildly suspenseful but it's just so odd. The movie is all over the place and not very engaging. And the people they build up to be the main characters end up being dispatched in gory fashion. So in that sense you never really feel anything for the victims. It's a sleazy pic and feels a little grindhouse and a little giallo but isn't successful on any front. So if I were you I'd make sure to avoid this bag of cinematic coal.

RATING= 4.5 Killer SANTAS out of 10



Sunday, December 22, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS HORROR DAY 22







WHILE SHE WAS OUT

2008 86 Mins. Kim Basinger, Lukas Haas and Craig Scheffer star. Written and Directed by Susan Montford Rated R for strong language, violence, gore and sexuality. 



This is a weird movie. I like it and revisit it every now and then especially around the holidays but theres a lit of things that just don't work but yet enough stuff that does which makes for solid escapism. Kim Basinger (Batman) stars as a upper middle class housewife with an abusive husband whom goes to the mall for some last minute xmas shopping which is a strike against her being that I work in retail). When there she struggles finding a parking spot and bitches to a security officer that its ridiculous (2nd strike) and he directs her to park further away. Eventually she finds a spot and while walking up sees a car double parked. While shopping Basinger does a solid job of establishing the kind of woman she's playing. Someone unhappy and insecure but with a playful side. Upon returning to her car, the car that was double parked pulls up behind her and four of the most unbelievable punks ever start shit with her. She isn't afraid to fight back and than before she knows it a security guard is shot and shes on the run with the kids close behind. She ends up crashing and grabs her toolbox out of the trunk and runs into the woods with the delinquents on her heels and looking to kill and possibly rape her. She of course begins fighting back but at first it feels as almost reactions and than she embraces it but not fully.



 That's the confusing part. I get that they want to keep her layered but it's hard to believe a woman doing such damage that's reached her patience with bullshit doesn't change. It culminates in a strange scene where she tries to seduce an odd Haas and that's being kind. The last shot is pretty bad ass and the movie is fun especially when it's boiled down to the simplistic but the dramatic girth they do try for is only half successfull and although Basinger is great she's kind of in the wrong. But as a survival horror thriller theres definitely a fare amount of fun that it offers.



RATING=7 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10




Saturday, December 21, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS HORROR DAY XXI




GREMLINS 
Warner Bros. 1984 106 Mins. Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates and Gizmo star. Written by Chris Columbus Directed by Joe Dante Rated PG for language, violence and gore.



This should come as no surprise to anyone. For some odd reason although its dripping with the holiday I never associated Xmas with it. Everyone knows the premise the most adorable creature is stolen from his shop named Gizmo and is given to teen studmuffin Zach Galligan with a set of rules, 3 to be exact. Avoid direct sunlight. Don't get him wet. And never ever feed him after midnight. Well despite his best intentions he breaks all three and a slew of nasty little creatures are born and start taking out the townsfolk as well as torturing our little friend.


It's a fun flick and surprisingly dark. I have no idea how it got away with a PG rating after watching it I really think it should have been an R. Sure the movie is done in a retro dark humor sort of way but its excessively violent and quite graphic as they start dispatching the little bastards. The mother does it the best, armed with kitchen knives. She stabs, decapitates, blends and microwaves them and more.



Yes the movie is creepy and also kind of funny and a little disturbing especially when Phoebe Cates is explaining why she doesn't like Christmas.



 I've always liked the film but I've always found it a bit confusing especially since it straddles the line but never really commits to either execution. But it still mostly works. I actually enjoyed the second more just because it was more focused on being a weird, zany comedy. All in all it's a fun flick and definitely one worth visiting around this time of year. Who doesn't wanna see that little nugget.

RATING= 7.25 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10



Friday, December 20, 2019

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS HORROR DAY XX




The trailer and the Tv spots for this film were bullshit, thanks Dimension. I remember seeing this opening night and was just so overly disappointed. Mostly due to the fact that all the parts I was waiting for. Later on I found out that depending on what country it was released in their was a different final girl. Something I still don't know is true. Regardless I went in search of a foreign copy I never found. Ultimately I discovered courtesy of Wikipedia that the awesome kills and crazy ass scenes in the Tv spots and trailers were filmed just for that. Well it's 13 years later and I got over my original feelings for this film and finally appreciate this trashfest exactly for what it is. And I like it because I revisit it every year.

BLACK CHRISTMAS
Dimension 2006 84 Mins. Katie Cassidy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kristen Cloke, Andrea Martin, Crystal Lowe, Robert Mann and Oliver Hudson star. Written and Directed by Glen Morgan Rated R for graphic violence, strong language, gore, sexuality and nudity.



It's important when watching this version of Black Christmas to remember that it's a movie of excess. everything is so over the top. The performances, the dark humor, the mean spirit, the gore drenched killing scenes and eye gouging and the crazy ass storyline. Although it never reaches the heights of it's classic, feminist predecessor this version has it's charms. It's without a doubt one of the trashiest films I've ever scene and doesn't know when to stop. And it's actually quite clever in the way it dissects the Holiday as well as the satirical social commentary. Set around a group of Sorority sisters on Christmas Eve that are stalked by a psychotic madman. The sisters start disappearing one by one and than there's a naughty flashback to how the whole ordeal began packed with jaundice, child rape, murder, cannibalism and abuse amongst other festive topics. When we return to our final girls they do their best to fight for their lives as he crawls through walls and sets up a ghastly display in the attic awaiting it's next victims.



 Unlike the original this version features a feisty group of stereotypes played out to their fullest instead of being well rounded characters. Katie Cassidy (When a stranger calls remake) is the lead in our version and she's the good girl. Oliver Hudson (The Breed) is her cheating, douchebag boyfriend whose making his way through the sisters. Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy the vampire slayer TV) is the mouthy, bitchy one. Lacey Chabert (Party of Five) is the rich girl with the sass to match. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (10 Cloverfield Lane) is the bitchy southern princess. Kristen Cloke (Final destination) is a feisty businesswoman in search of her half sister. Crystal Lowe (The Final Destination) is the drunkard filled with an abundance of knowledge and Andrea Martin (Black Christmas 1974) is the house mother. Basically most of them are assholes but it's all in good fun as they get sliced, diced and gouged. Although not in the creative ways in the false advertising but in entertaining ways nonetheless.



 It's hard to compare the two films as this one is so different. the film makers here went for an over the top retro slasher that doesn't take itself too seriously. the movie is filmed stylishly and the execution by  Glen Morgan (Final Destination) is confident. It may not make everyone's Christmas list but it's on mine every year. The movie was a modest success making 21 million world wide on a 9 Million budget.



RATING= 8 Killer Santas out of 10


Thursday, December 19, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS DAY XIX


 

Now this is one of my favorite all time XMAS movies. This intense, nightmarish holiday genre flick is a fine tuned machine that will give you trouble sleeping especially if you have kids.

THE CHILDREN
Ghost House 2008 84 Mins. Eva Birtistle, Stephen Campbell Moore, Jeremy Sheffield and Hannah Toiton star.  Written and Directed by Tom Shankland.


Imagine it's Christmas and all the kids are getting sick and than they turn violent and malicious. Not in the way of "28 Days Later" but in a more sinister, calculated way. They want to murder all of the adults in the most brutal of ways.


This is the plot of The Children a nightmarish little slice of genre cake. Although the concept can feel a bit familiar the execution is anything but. Capturing the chaos of a house filled with children and people who don't really like eachother around the holidays. The movie intercut disturbing images as multiple scenes of super intense horror are spliced together for an onslaught of stylish cinematic mayhem. As the performances go the kids are pure nightmare fuel.



Eva Birthistle of Brooklyn is great as the torn mother, sexy Jeremy Sheffield of Creep and Wedding Date is just eye candy as the supremely hott Uncle and Hannah Toiton is awesome and bad ass as our kick ass heroine Casey. The movie is simplistic in its terror but so intriguing in its horrific subtext and dissection of family.

RATING= 8.75 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10


Wednesday, December 18, 2019

25 DAYS OF XMAS HORROR DAY XVIII


This 2007 Christmas horror thriller had a young woman battling a psychotic stalker after work on the parking garage of her workplace on Xmas eve. Unfortunately it floundered at the box office like most seasonal genre pics. Made for 3.5 million, it made a small profit with a take of 7.7 million. But since its release its garnered a well deserved cult following with people watching it every holiday season.



P2
2007 98 Mins. Rachel Nichols and Wes Bentley star. Written by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, Crawl) Directed by Franck Khalfoun (Maniac-2012) Rated R for strong language, violence, gore and terror.


This is without a doubt one of my favorite holiday flicks. Plus I love simplistic horror thrillers. One location, a few characters, an intense concept and this movie delivers. Rachel Nichols (G.I. Joe) stars as Angela a hard working businesswoman whom ends up leaving very late for her family function and finds herself drugged and taken captive by Thomas played by an unintentionally funny but still cute Wes Bentley (American Beauty). After a series of struggles she finally escapes but finds herself hunted by him in the closed parking garage. Him and his dog hunt her until finally she gets tired of the shit and fights back, and fights back she does.



 The movie is intense and Nichols is fabulous as our bad ass heroine. I only wish they would have found a better more intimidating villain. That would have certainly propelled the movie. Still this a very entertaining survival horror thriller that uses it's concept to the fullest. "Merry Christmas Thomas". If you haven't seen this it's definitely worth a watch!!!!




RATING = 8.5 KILLER SANTAS OUT OF 10

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

25 DAYS OF HORROR DAY XVII


For those of you who consider Die Hard an Xmas movie this should be right up your alley with a genre twist of course. Although I guess technically more like a Action/Thriller it plays like a fierce elongated Tales from Crypt episode  and you can't deny the intense horror elements to it.



TURBULENCE
SKYRANCE 1997 100 Mins. Lauren Holly, Ray Liotta, Rachel Ticotin, Hector Eliza n dogs, Catherine Hicks, Brendan Gleeson and Ben Cross Star. Written by Johnathan Brett (Occupant) Directed by Robert Butler (Up the Creek) Rated R for strong language, violence and gore.


I remember seeing this in theaters when it first came out. I was working there and I remember us getting a bunch of promo items for it. Released on on January  10, 1997 the movie was a box office bomb opening with a little over 4 Million on its way to a measly 11.5 million on a 55 million budget. I remember it just being me and my friend opening night. Well I have to say I definitely enjoyed it than and I just enjoyed the hell of out of it now revisiting this cheesetactic masterpiece. Lauren Holly (Dumb and Dumber) stars as Teri a flight attendant working the Christmas shift after her fiancee has broken things off with her. Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) is Ryan Weaver a sadistic serial killer whose raped and murdered 5 women and is being escorted to death row by four Marshalls. After a fight breaks out and people are left dead including the captain, Teri finds herself stranded in the open skies with a Maniac who wants to make her the next victim. 


The movie is a guilty pleasure to be sure and it's so overly entertaining it's easy to dismiss the hamminess afoot. The performances are nice and over the top from Lauren Holly as our heroine and Ray Liotta having the time of his life as the killer. Catherine Hicks (Child's Play), Rachel Ticotin (Total Recall), Hector Elizondo (Pretty Woman), Brendan Gleeson  (28 Days later) and Ben Cross (Star Trek) make for some solid support. As you can imagine there's a bunch of chase scenes as well as a few pulse pounding showdowns and it all culminates with an edge of your seat landing sequence and a bunch of goofy one liners. It's not for everyone but cinematic Trash this good shouldn't be denied. It has now become one of my favorite Christmas movies.


RATING= 8.5 KILLER SANTAS OUT of 10

Monday, December 16, 2019

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS HORROR DAY XVI




ANNA AND THE APOCALYPSE
2018 93 Mins. Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming, Sarah Swire, Christopher Leveaux, Marli Siu, Ben Wiggins, Mark Benton and Paul Kaye star. Written by Alan McDonald and Ryan McHenry Directed by John McPhail. Rated R for language, violence and gore.


When finally released last holiday season this movie sadly floundered . I traveled all around the state while it was in limited release to see it a few times but for some odd reason this lively, creative little gem just never found it's audience. Centering around a young woman named Anna and her friends as they wake up in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. The songs are fun with a few truly great ones. It's light hearted with great performances all around but especially from Malcolm Cumming as Josh and Ben Wiggins who has a ton of charisma.



Those expecting a lighter zombie flick are gonna be disappointed because it's quite nasty and there's a few gory zingers that are jaw dropping. Besides being funny and surprisingly scary the movie is also emotionally involving. It's hard not to feel for these wonderful characters because the development is truly impressive. I really wish this could have caught on and I really hope it becomes a bigger thing at some point. I would definitely line up to see it at some late shows around the holiday season. So if you haven't and not many have check out this whimsical, nasty little musical horror hybrid.




RATING= 8.75 killer santas out of ten