RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

This is without a doubt the worst chapter in my beloved but sloppy and slightly nonsensical franchise. It does not move the story forward at all in fact it is a movie based on a video game in which they're playing a video game. The stakes are quite low and Al8ce meets some more game characters which include Ada and a fugly Leon. It has some cool moments the beginning is quite reminiscent of the dawn of the dead remake and there is a nod to James Cameron's masterpiece Aliens. As well as returning cast member Michelle Rodriguez  (Fast and Furious) for absolutely no reason. I appreciate that helmer Paul Anderson (Mortal Kombat) tried to do something new with the franchise but the greatest hits execution but it just doesn't work. That being said it's still kind of fun but becomes to redundant.

Budget: $65m
Domestic Box Office: $42m
Worldwide Box Office: $240m

2.5/5

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE

Paul Anderson (Event Horizon) returns to the franchise he created for the first time since the original. The results are aesthetically astounding but slightly hollow. For the first time in the series it seems as though characters are simply added for a higher body count than having a real purpose. That being said it's a hell of a lot of fun especially if you turn off your brain. There are some truly dynamic scenes, the slow mo shower battle is gorgeous and enthralling. This time around the clones descend upon umbrella and are quickly disposed of and Alice looses her power and becomes human. She searches for Claire and the gang but stumbles upon a new gang at a prison that includes sexy Wentworth Miller (Prison Break) and gorgeous Boris Kodjoe (Addicted). The zombie army rages outside with some new mutations afoot while they try and escape to a supposed safe facility called Arcadia. The movie is fast and fun and ultra stylish. It's a step down story wise from Extinction but it's much prettier.

Budget: $60m
Domestic Box Office: $60m
Worldwide Box Office: $300m

3.75/5

RUSSELL MULCAHY'S TALE OF THE MUMMY (1998)

Russell Mulcahy (Resident Evil Extinction) of the criminally underrated Razorback wrote and directed this big dud. Packed with alot of silly late 90s CGI. Basically it's a simple setup as an Ancient Egyptian Princes tomb is opened and his curse begins. Most of which involves him flying around as goofy mummy wraps attacking people. It's a very dumb movie but it's somewhat fun and funny in an unintentional way. In the end it's not really worth your time but if you must you should at least know what you're in for. Jason Scott Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Lysette Anthony (Krull), Sean Pertwee (Event Horizon), Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean), Michael Lerner (Elf), Christopher Lee (Howling II), Shelley Duvall (Shining) and Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000/300) star. 

Budget: $8m

2.5/5

JOHN CARPENTER'S SOMEONE'S WATCHING ME! (1978)

I have to say I really enjoyed this criminally underseen John Carpenter (Halloween '78') gem. Made the same year Halloween exploded at the box office this TV movie featured the gorgeous and charasmatic Lauren Hutton as a single young woman who gets a new job and place in the big bad city. Unfortunately for her someone has noticed. He begins to stalk her by calling her frequently in very creepy ways and than things start to become physical. It's easy to write it off as just a generic thriller but there's alot too love here. First of all the screenplay which is also by John Carpenter is really fantastic. It's an almost perfect reflection of the time and the harassment women had to endure. It's also very smart in it's depiction of the war of the sexes and the independent woman of the 70s. Also impressive is the way the awesome Adreienne Barbeau's character is written. It's often referenced as a solid and positive portrayal of an lgbtq character and considering the time in which it was released it deserves extra props. The dialogue is funny and relatable. You care about these characters and they're easy to root for because they're genuinely likable. As for the thriller stuff it's effective but a little bland especially by today's standards. That being said it's still a competent, well made film with great performances and it's really well made by a guy who was just about to be mega famous.

3.5/5

RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION

Directed by Russell Mulcahy of the criminally underseen awesome creature feature Razorback. I've always really loved this chapter. Maybe its because it has that epic Mad Max feel mixed with the telekinesis of Friday the 13th 7 and although it can be a little silly it takes the franchises back to it's scarier roots with homages to the birds and day of the dead. This time around Alice is still on the run from the Umbrella corporation and the world has become a desert wasteland. She stumbles upon some old friends and some newbies like a teen girl named Kmart, the singer Ashanti playing a nurse and a bad ass Ali Larter as Claire Redfield from the games. This one is the goriest of the first three and features some great old fashioned practical effects. The movie is fun, scary and action packed leading up to a bad ass finale and one hell of a cliffhanger.

Budget: $45m
Domestic Box Office: $51m
Worldwide Box Office: $148m

4/5

RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE

This is truly a guilty pleasure. Whereas the original was an actual good movie, well to me anyways. This is pure trash but it's so enjoyable. Milla Jovovich (Fifth Element) is back in mega kick ass mode along with Sienna Guilroy (Love, Actually), sexy Mike Epps (Hangover), Oded Fehr (The Mummy) and gorgeous Zack Ward (Freddy vs. Jason) amongst others. Picking up right after the events of the previous film Alice awakens in a distressed Racoon City overrunning with all forms of the undead. Slowly she builds up her powers leading up to a battle with Nemesis a.k.a. Matt (Eric Mabius- Welcome to the Dollhouse) and a killer finale. The movie is fun and funny thanks mostly to Mike Epps. The movie unfortunately looks a little cheap because of its ambition and limited budget but its effective nonetheless. There's no real scares here but the action and stunt work are impressive. To the films detriment its main problem is the amateur, sloppy direction from first time director Alexander Witt. Despite the criticisms the movie succeeds exactly where it sets its low expectations at, its mere popcorn entertainment.

Budget: $43m
Domestic Box Office: $51m
Worldwide Box Office: $129m

3.5/5

RESIDENT EVIL (2002)

I'm a big fan of the Resident Evil games and I was so excited by the prospect of this film coming out especially since one of my favorite directors was doing it. I was a huge fan of both Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon. I absolutely loved this movie and I still do. This adaptation is sort of a prequel to the first game. The movie centers around a young woman that awakes in a shower with no memory of who she was and why she was there. Soon after she discovers that the house she was in was on top of a top secret facility tat stored bio weapons. One was released and has transformed the recently dead into zombies from people to animals. The movie plays out as if you were playing the game and you are her character, learning about herself and leveling up. The movie is highly atmospheric and very entertaining. Milla Jovovich is such a bad ass and the movie is so stylish with an amazing score by Marilyn Manson. It's not flawless Michelle Rodriguez's performance is a bit extra and some of the digital FX have not aged well. That being said its still fun and surprisingly scary. This is more of a horror film than the rest and pays homage to the undead classics of yesteryear lovingly. I know alot of people don't really care for it but this is definitely my thing. Plus it has the best cliffhanger ending of any movie ever made.

Budget: $32m
Domestic Box Office: $40m
Worldwide Box Office: $103m

4.5/5

NEEDFUL THINGS (1993)

This is usually a forgotten adaptation of Stephen King's books. Although I've never read the book I do really like the movie and consider it one of the best movies inspired by his work. The late and great Max Von Snydow (Exorcist) stars as pretty much the devil. A deceitful, manipulative man who opens up a antique shop in a small town that offers anyone who comes in exactly what they are looking for. But there is a price and in mist instances it seems like something inconsequential from breaking windows to writing fake tickets. But all of the actions have horrific consequences as arguments escalate leading to murder. Handsome Ed Neil, Amanda Plummer and Bonnie Bedelia also star. The movie has a dark sense of humor and the horror is playful and twisted. Although it seems that the people are easily manipulated I definitely think the movie expresses that something supernatural is at play. It's fun, weird and creepy so if you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth a watch.

Budget: N/A
Domestic Box Office: $15m
Worldwide Box Office: $15m

4/5

INTO THE DARK: CRAWLERS

This is a fun little alien invasion flick but never lives up to it's best potential. Hulu's Into the Dark St. Patrick's Day entry is about a funny drug dealer, a sorority girl and a hot guy who find themselves in the middle of an alien invasion during the green holiday. They team up to try and stop it before it takes over the world. There's really nothing new here from Grabbers to the Invasion and more. But it's mostly well done. The movie's main problem is that it starts off strong with clever humor and some nasty gore but it never gets as crazy as it promises. Just when you think it will go balls to wall it pulls back and ends up with something more generic. So definitely not the best entry but a fun way to pass the time.

3/5

INTO THE DARK: MY VALENTINE

So I really couldn't get into this one. Hulu's Into the Dark horror anthology series spotlights Valentine's day in a movie about a singer named Valentine whose career was stolen from her by a slimy, abusive ex. His new muse is nothing but a carbon copy named Treasure. One night while doing a small gig shes confronted by her ex and his new beau and he ends up being a psychopath who will do anything to get her back. The movie is stylishly directed and has some fun animeish touches to it but it's all just do blah. The music is okay but catchy and the movie can be entrancing at times but it's hard to be completely engaged because the characters and plot are so thin. All in all it's somewhat disappointing but ultimately just overly mediocre. That being said it's still quite creative and unique.

2.5/5